Suggest wording change
I suggest we drop the words "see below", from the phrase at the end of the first paragraph:
- "...refer both to no price (gratis) and freedom (libre - see below)."
I'm not clear on what text below is being referred to....my best guess is the "see also" section. I think it's clear to the reader that the concept of freedom (libre) is the topic for this page, generally and there will be more about this below.
I realize that this page is a copy of that used in the WikiEd tuts. If you agree, shall I change it in all of its locations?
- "The English language does not have an adjective that singularly describes the state of freedom associated with personal liberty."
It does, the (recently) adopted word (or Loanword) "libre".
- "On the other hand, libre can be contrasted with freedom of speech"
I don't think "contrasted" is the right word. Try something like:
- On the other hand, libre may be likened to freedom of speech.
I agree with your suggestion to revise "can be contrasted with" to "may be likened to".
As to the idea that libre is now in the English language dictionary, that may be the case, but it's not included in dictionary.com or askoxford.com, which relates to the activity on the previous page of this tutorial. Maybe we could add "Until recently..." to the sentence, to suggest that this is changing.
Unfortunately, I started this thread on the wrong page. I am currently reviewing The right license, which includes a derivative of this page....and in comparing the various derivative pages I inadvertently left my comment on the wrong one.
As this thread is appropriate for this page as well as The_right_license/The_essential_freedoms, I will leave it here and create a linking thread on Talk:The_right_license/The_essential_freedoms, to point people to this conversation.
Sorry for the confusion, Alison
Apology for the tardy response. My router corrupted and was without connectivity for a wee while :-(.
I suggest that we circumvent discussions on whether "libre" has been "adopted" in the English language by replacing the introductory sentence with something like:
"In English, the adjective "free" has two meanings" and links up with the activity on the previous page.
However, for the "right license" derivative, we will need to drop the reference to the dictionary search activity.
Taking our target audience into account -- the libre concept would not be a term in everyday use.
We can drop the suffix "(libre - see below)" -- I think it was meant to refer to the additional readings. Alternatively we can direct the readers to consult the additional readings.
Thanks for the suggestion on how to handle the opening sentence. I agree. I will make the change on this page, and the other derivative pages.
I will also, on this and all derivative pages, revise the wording comparing libre and freedom of speech as Kim suggests, and delete the "see below" reference. (I think having the See also/further reading section is enough to suggest further reading.)