Writing for Business Success/Effective business writing/Word choice and tone
The organisation, word choice, and tone of your message should all allow the communication to be received and understood, while also maintaining a positive business relationship. With proper wording and phrasing, your communications can enhance your reputation and the reputation of your business.
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Writing for the reader
The audience (your reader, if the message is written) is the receiver of the business communication. This model focuses on the choices a writer or sender of a message can make to best convey their message to the receiver. If all choices are related to considering the receiver’s needs over those of the sender, the message is more likely to achieve its purpose quickly.
To understand this concept, think about learning to change a tyre. One way people could learn about changing a tyre is from a description in the owner’s manual sent by the car manufacturer. Many individuals, on the other hand, have learned from watching or participating in the process — gaining hands-on experience. Which is easier? For the manufacturer (sender) the information is easy and cheap to print. For the tyre changer (receiver) a personal assistant is easier, but more expensive. The sender needs to find the best balance.
Putting the reader first (sometimes known as taking the 'you-view'), encompasses two skills:
- Put the receiver’s needs before the sender’s needs
- Start with what the receiver needs to know
| Scenario: taking the 'you-view' |
|---|
| Lynnette has worked hard to find a lost shipment. She finally has enough information to email the customer and provide an update on the situation. She begins writing up her draft: “You won’t believe how many people I had to contact to find this for you. I had to call Texas, send a copy to Dallas, and then…..” Stop! It is likely Lynnette is thinking the customer will be impressed with her efforts and feel like a valued customer. However, nothing in this email so far has answered the customer’s primary need.
Let’s imagine instead that Lynnette's draft focuses on meeting the customer’s primary need : “I have found your product at the Texas depot, and I have scheduled delivery for March 30.” Lynette is satisfied with this draft: it is direct and delivers the needed information. However, the email does not take the you-view. Did you notice how Lynnette talks about herself first with the use of personal pronoun “I”? In a subtle, but important improvement, Lynette should write, “Your product is scheduled for delivery March 30. Your product was in the Texas depot.” While both versions of the email let the customer know the product’s delivery information, the second version places emphasis on the customer and makes the customer most important. |
Language as an obstacle
Each of us has a variety of ways of speaking and writing, depending on circumstances. A thank-you note that you write to your aunt for the socks she sent will be quite different to a thank-you note you write after a job interview with the vice president of the division! In business communication, the key is to choose language that is direct and easy for your audience to understand.
When you’re writing, it’s important to consider your audience’s understanding compared to your own. For example, if you’re writing a newsletter for customers, you would use different language than you would if you were writing a product status update to the engineers who initially created the product.
As you write, keep your eye out for these common language challenges:
- Clichés
- Jargon
- Slang
- Euphemisms
- Doublespeak
Cliché
Clichés that we use in everyday conversation (for example: 'green with envy', 'face the music', 'add insult to injury', etc.) can make your writing sound boring. The Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary defines a cliché as “a phrase or an idea that has been used so often that it no longer has much meaning and is not interesting”[1]
| Avoid | Try | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Please resolve this ASAP. (Note: 'ASAP' is an abbreviation for 'as soon as possible'.) |
Please resolve this by March 30. | ASAP is not a time we each understand the same way. You might be thinking you will get a call back tomorrow. I might be thinking the research and forms needed will take a week, so seven days is sufficient. |
| Thanks for your help. Now just kick it through the goal posts. | Thanks for your help. Now you just need to finish submitting the paperwork to process the deal. | “Kick it through the goals posts” is common enough, and even overused, but it is a sport reference that many may not understand. It is not clear what step must be taken next. |
Jargon
The dictionary defines jargon as “words or expressions that are used by a particular profession or group of people, and are difficult for others to understand” [2] Since these terms are used within an activity, group, or profession, they’re typically not well understood outside that context. Within the context of a specific group, jargon may help members of the group refer to very specialised concepts, but those outside the group may find the jargon incomprehensible or may misunderstand the intended meaning.
For example, plumbers might use terms like elbow, ABS, sweating the pipes, reducer, flapper, snake, and rough-in. Other plumbers will understand those terms in the context of plumbing, but to non-plumbers, those terms may have different meanings or be entirely non-sensical.
Always keep your audience in mind. If you are addressing only members of a specialised field, using field-specific jargon will signal to your audience that you are also a member of the field, and may allow you to talk about higher or specific concepts. However, if you are speaking to a broader group with no specialised knowledge, using jargon will only alienate or confuse your audience. If some technical terms are absolutely necessary when speaking to an audience, be sure to explain each term and its context.
For example, if you are writing a department-wide memo, it would be acceptable to use terms specific to your company or department. If you are writing a newsletter for customers, however, it would be better to avoid jargon and use clearer, broader language.
Slang
In general, avoid slang or idiomatic expressions in formal business writing or in academic writing. Slang and idiomatic expressions make your writing sound informal and less credible. They can also make it harder for non-native English speakers to understand you.
| Avoid | Try |
|---|---|
| That cart did not work any more. It was all jacked up. | That cart did not work any more. It had a broken wheel and bent frame. |
| She was dead after all that overtime last weekend. | She was exhausted after all that overtime last week. |
However, there are occasions when slang and idiomatic expressions may be appropriate, depending on who your audience is. If you are writing informally or humorously, slang and idiomatic language may help you better express yourself.
If you are going to use slang, however, make sure that you’re using it correctly. Customers who are “native speakers” of slang (i.e., people who are a part of the demographic you may be targeting by using slang) can very easily spot someone who doesn’t understand the correct usage of a slang term.
Euphemisms and doublespeak
Euphemisms are words or phrases used to talk about unpleasant or taboo topics in a more polite way. For example, instead of saying that you are leaving a meeting to urinate, you might say that you are “going to the restroom.” If you are talking about a person who just died, you might say that the person has “passed away.”
Doublespeak is a more deliberate form of euphemism that disguises the meaning of words so that the idea the words represent seems less unpleasant. For example, the act of terminating employment for many people at once may be referred to in doublespeak as "down-sizing" or "right-sizing", or a government dropping bombs might say it is "servicing the target". Doublespeak language is usually used in bureaucracies and politics, and should be avoided whenever possible. In business writing (and all writing in general), you should avoid using doublespeak.
In business writing, your purpose should not be to hide meaning but to communicate clearly.
Acknowledgements
The content on this page was adapted from Word choice and tone, authored by Susan Kendall and provided by Lumen Learning under a CC-BY-4.0 licence. The content is part of the online course Business communication skills for managers.
