User:Gproehl/Temp/AYLI.doc
As You Like It
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[1.1]
Enter Orlando and Adam.
ORLANDO
As I remember, Adam, it was upon this fashion
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bequeathed me by will but poor a thousand
crowns, and, as thou say'st, charged my brother,
on his blessing, to breed me well; and
there begins my sadness. My brother Jaques he keeps
at school, and report speaks goldenly of his profit.
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For my part, he keeps me rustically at home, or, to speak
more properly, stays me here at home unkept; for call
you that "keeping" for a gentleman of my birth that differs
not from the stalling of an ox? His horses are bred
better, for, besides that they are fair with their feeding,
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they are taught their manège, and to that end riders
dearly hired; but I, his brother, gain nothing under
him but growth, for the which his animals on his
dunghills are as much bound to him as I. Besides this nothing
that he so plentifully gives me, the something that
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nature gave me his countenance seems to take from
me. He lets me feed with his hinds, bars me the
place of a brother, and as much as in him lies, mines my
gentility with my education. This is it, Adam, that
grieves me; and the spirit of my father, which I think
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is within me, begins to mutiny against this servitude.
I will no longer endure it, though yet I know no wise
remedy how to avoid it.
Enter Oliver.
ADAM
Yonder comes my master, your brother.
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ORLANDO
Go apart, Adam, and thou shalt hear how
he will shake me up.
[Adam stands aside.]
OLIVER
Now, sir, what make you here?
ORLANDO
Nothing. I am not taught to make anything.
OLIVER
What mar you then, sir?
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ORLANDO
Marry, sir, I am helping you to mar that which
God made, a poor unworthy brother of yours, with
idleness.
OLIVER
Marry, sir, be better employed, and be naught awhile.
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ORLANDO
Shall I keep your hogs, and eat husks with
them? What prodigal portion have I spent, that I should
come to such penury?
OLIVER
Know you where you are, sir?
ORLANDO
Oh, sir, very well: here in your orchard.
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OLIVER
Know you before whom, sir?
ORLANDO
Ay, better than him I am before knows me. I
know you are my eldest brother, and in the gentle condition
of blood you should so know me. The courtesy of nations
allows you my better in that you are the first
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born; but the same tradition takes not away my blood,
were there twenty brothers betwixt us. I have as much
of my father in me as you, albeit I confess your coming
before me is nearer to his reverence.
OLIVER
What, boy!
[He strikes Orlando.]
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ORLANDO
Come, come, elder brother, you are too young in this.
[He seizes Oliver by the throat.]
OLIVER
Wilt thou lay hands on me, villain?
ORLANDO
I am no villain. I am the youngest son of
Sir Rowland de Boys. He was my father, and he is thrice a villain
that says such a father begot villains. Wert thou
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not my brother, I would not take this hand from thy
throat till this other had pulled out thy tongue for saying
so. Thou hast railed on thyself.
ADAM
[Coming forward] Sweet masters, be patient! For your father's remembrance
, be at accord.
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OLIVER
[To Orlando] Let me go, I say.
ORLANDO
I will not, till I please. You shall hear me. My
father charged you in his will to give me good education.
You have trained me like a peasant, obscuring and
hiding from me all gentlemanlike qualities. The spirit
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of my father grows strong in me, and I will no longer
endure it; therefore allow me such exercises as may become
a gentleman, or give me the poor allottery my
father left me by testament. With that I will go buy my
fortunes.
[He releases Oliver.]
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OLIVER
And what wilt thou do? Beg, when that is spent?
Well, sir, get you in. I will not long be troubled with
you; you shall have some part of your will. I pray you
leave me.
ORLANDO
I will no further offend you than becomes me
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for my good.
OLIVER
[To Adam] Get you with him, you old dog.
ADAM
Is "old dog" my reward? Most true, I have
lost my teeth in your service. God be with my old master!
He would not have spoke such a word.
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OLIVER
Is it even so? Begin you to grow upon me? I will
physic your rankness, and yet give no thousand
crowns neither. [Calling]Holla, Dennis!
Enter Dennis.
DENNIS
Calls Your Worship?
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OLIVER
Was not Charles, the Duke's wrestler, here to
speak with me?
DENNIS
So please you, he is here at the door and importunes
access to you.
OLIVER
Call him in.
[Exit Dennis.] 'Twill be a good way; and tomorrow
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the wrestling is.
Enter Charles.
CHARLES
Good morrow to Your Worship.
OLIVER
Good Monsieur Charles, what's the new news
at the new court?
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CHARLES
There's no news at the court, sir, but the
old news: that is, the old Duke is banished by his younger
brother the new Duke, and three or four loving
lords have put themselves into voluntary exile with
him, whose lands and revenues enrich the new Duke;
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therefore he gives them good leave to wander.
OLIVER
Can you tell if Rosalind, the Duke's daughter, be
banished with her father?
CHARLES
Oh, no; for the Duke's daughter, her cousin, so
loves her, being ever from their cradles bred together,
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that she would have followed her exile or have died to
stay behind her. She is at the court, and no less beloved
of her uncle than his own daughter; and never two ladies
loved as they do.
OLIVER
Where will the old Duke live?
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CHARLES
They say he is already in the Forest of Arden,
and a many merry men with him; and there they live
like the old Robin Hood of England. They say many young
gentlemen flock to him every day, and fleet the time
carelessly, as they did in the golden world.
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OLIVER
What, you wrestle tomorrow before the new
Duke?
CHARLES
Marry, do I, sir; and I came to acquaint you
with a matter. I am given, sir, secretly to understand that
your younger brother, Orlando, hath a disposition to come
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in disguised against me to try a fall. Tomorrow, sir,
I wrestle for my credit; and he that escapes me without
some broken limb shall acquit him well. Your brother
is but young and tender; and, for your love, I would be
loath to foil him, as I must, for my own honor, if he
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come in. Therefore, out of my love to you, I came hither
to acquaint you withal, that either you might stay him
from his intendment, or brook such disgrace well as he
shall run into, in that it is a thing of his own search
and altogether against my will.
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OLIVER
Charles, I thank thee for thy love to me, which
thou shalt find I will most kindly requite. I had myself
notice of my brother's purpose herein, and have by
underhand means labored to dissuade him from it;
but he is resolute. I'll tell thee, Charles, it is the stubbornest
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young fellow of France, full of ambition, an envious emulator
of every man's good parts, a secret and villainous
contriver against me his natural brother. Therefore use
thy discretion. I had as lief thou didst break his neck
as his finger. And thou wert best look to't; for if thou
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dost him any slight disgrace, or if he do not mightily
grace himself on thee, he will practice against thee by
poison, entrap thee by some treacherous device, and never
leave thee till he hath ta'en thy life by some indirect
means or other; for, I assure thee, and almost with
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tears I speak it, there is not one so young and so villainous
this day living. I speak but brotherly of him,
but should I anatomize him to thee as he is, I must
blush and weep, and thou must look pale and
wonder.
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CHARLES
I am heartily glad I came hither to you. If he
come tomorrow I'll give him his payment. If ever he
go alone again, I'll never wrestle for prize more. And
so, God keep Your Worship!
OLIVER
Farewell, good Charles. Now will I stir this gamester.
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I hope I shall see an end of him; for my soul, yet
I know not why, hates nothing more than he. Yet he's
gentle, never schooled and yet learned, full of noble
device, of all sorts enchantingly beloved, and indeed
so much in the heart of the world, and especially of my
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own people, who best know him, that I am altogether
misprized. But it shall not be so long; this wrestler shall
clear all. Nothing remains but that I kindle the boy
thither, which now I'll go about.
[1.2]
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Enter Rosalind and Celia.
CELIA
I pray thee, Rosalind, sweet my coz, be merry.
ROSALIND
Dear Celia, I show more mirth than I am mistress of;
and would you yet I were merrier? Unless you
could teach me to forget a banished father, you must not
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learn me how to remember any extraordinary
pleasure.
CELIA
Herein I see thou lov'st me not with the full
weight that I love thee. If my uncle, thy banished father,
had banished thy uncle, the Duke my father, so thou
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hadst been still with me, I could have taught my love
to take thy father for mine; so wouldst thou, if the truth
of thy love to me were so righteously tempered as mine
is to thee.
ROSALIND
Well, I will forget the condition of my estate,
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to rejoice in yours.
CELIA
You know my father hath no child but I, nor
none is like to have; and, truly, when he dies thou shalt
be his heir, for what he hath taken away from thy father
perforce I will render thee again in affection. By
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mine honor, I will; and when I break that oath, let me
turn monster. Therefore, my sweet Rose, my dear Rose,
be merry.
ROSALIND
From henceforth I will, coz, and devise sports.
Let me see, what think you of falling in love?
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CELIA
Marry, I prithee, do, to make sport withal; but
love no man in good earnest, nor no further in sport neither
than with safety of a pure blush thou mayst in honor
come off again.
ROSALIND
What shall be our sport, then?
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CELIA
Let us sit and mock the good housewife Fortune
from her wheel, that her gifts may henceforth be
bestowed equally.
ROSALIND
I would we could do so, for her benefits are
mightily misplaced, and the bountiful blind woman
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doth most mistake in her gifts to women.
CELIA
'Tis true, for those that she makes fair she scarce
makes honest, and those that she makes honest she makes
very ill-favoredly.
ROSALIND
Nay, now thou goest from Fortune's office to Nature's:
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Fortune reigns in gifts of the world, not in the
lineaments of Nature.
Enter [Touchstone the] Clown.
CELIA
No? When Nature hath made a fair creature,
may she not by Fortune fall into the fire? Though Nature
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hath given us wit to flout at Fortune, hath not Fortune
sent in this fool to cut off the argument?
ROSALIND
Indeed, there is Fortune too hard for Nature, when
Fortune makes Nature's natural the cutter-off of Nature's wit.
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CELIA
Peradventure this is not Fortune's work neither,
but Nature's, who perceiveth our natural wits too dull
to reason of such goddesses, and hath sent this natural for
our whetstone; for always the dullness of the fool is
the whetstone of the wits. -- How now, wit, whither wander you?
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TOUCHSTONE
Mistress, you must come away to your father.
CELIA
Were you made the messenger?
TOUCHSTONE
No, by mine honor, but I was bid to come for you.
ROSALIND
Where learned you that oath, fool?
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TOUCHSTONE
Of a certain knight that swore by his honor
they were good pancakes, and swore by his honor the
mustard was naught. Now I'll stand to it, the pancakes
were naught and the mustard was good, and yet was
not the knight forsworn.
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CELIA
How prove you that, in the great heap of your
knowledge?
ROSALIND
Ay, marry, now unmuzzle your wisdom.
TOUCHSTONE
Stand you both forth now. Stroke your chins,
and swear by your beards that I am a knave.
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CELIA
By our beards, if we had them, thou art.
TOUCHSTONE
By my knavery, if I had it, then I were; but if
you swear by that that is not, you are not forsworn. No
more was this knight, swearing by his honor, for he never
had any; or if he had, he had sworn it away before
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ever he saw those pancakes or that mustard.
CELIA
Prithee, who is't that thou mean'st?
TOUCHSTONE
One that old Frederick, your father, loves.
CELIA
My father's love is enough to honor him. Enough,
speak no more of him; you'll be whipped for taxation one
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of these days.
TOUCHSTONE
The more pity that fools may not speak wisely
what wise men do foolishly.
CELIA
By my troth, thou sayest true; for since the little
wit that fools have was silenced, the little foolery that
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wise men have makes a great show. Here comes Monsieur
Le Beau.
Enter Le Beau.
ROSALIND
With his mouth full of news.
CELIA
Which he will put on us as pigeons feed their
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young.
ROSALIND
Then shall we be news-crammed.
CELIA
All the better; we shall be the more marketable. --
Bonjour, Monsieur Le Beau. What's the news?
LE BEAU
Fair princess,
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you have lost much good sport.
CELIA
Sport? Of what color?
LE BEAU
What color, madam? How shall I answer
you?
ROSALIND
As wit and fortune will.
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TOUCHSTONE
Or as the Destinies decrees.
CELIA
Well said. That was laid on with a trowel.
TOUCHSTONE
Nay, if I keep not my rank --
ROSALIND
Thou loosest thy old smell.
LE BEAU
You amaze me, ladies. I would have told
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you of good wrestling, which you have lost the sight of.
ROSALIND
Yet tell us the manner of the wrestling.
LE BEAU
I will tell you the beginning, and, if it please
Your Ladyships, you may see the end, for the best is yet to do,
and here, where you are, they are coming to
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perform it.
CELIA
Well, the beginning, that is dead and buried.
LE BEAU
There comes an old man and his three sons --
CELIA
I could match this beginning with an old tale.
LE BEAU
Three proper young men, of excellent growth
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and presence.
ROSALIND
With bills on their necks: "Be it known unto
all men by these presents --"
LE BEAU
The eldest of the three wrestled with Charles,
the Duke's wrestler, which Charles in a moment threw
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him and broke three of his ribs, that there is little
hope of life in him. So he served the second, and so the
third. Yonder they lie, the poor old man their father
making such pitiful dole over them that all the beholders
take his part with weeping.
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ROSALIND
Alas!
TOUCHSTONE
But what is the sport, monsieur, that the ladies
have lost?
LE BEAU
Why, this that I speak of.
TOUCHSTONE
Thus men may grow wiser every day. It is the
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first time that ever I heard breaking of ribs was sport
for ladies.
CELIA
Or I, I promise thee.
ROSALIND
But is there any else longs to see this broken music
in his sides? Is there yet another dotes upon
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rib-breaking? -- Shall we see this wrestling, cousin?
LE BEAU
You must, if you stay here, for here is the
place appointed for the wrestling, and they are ready to
perform it.
CELIA
Yonder, sure, they are coming. Let us now stay
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and see it.
Flourish. Enter Duke [Frederick], Lords, Orlando, Charles,
and Attendants
DUKE FREDERICK
Come on. Since the youth will not be entreated,
his own peril on his forwardness.
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ROSALIND
[To Le Beau] Is yonder the man?
LE BEAU
Even he, madam.
CELIA
Alas, he is too young; yet he looks successfully.
DUKE FREDERICK
How now, daughter and cousin?
Are you crept hither to see the wrestling?
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ROSALIND
Ay, my liege, so please you give us leave.
DUKE FREDERICK
You will take little delight in it, I can tell you,
there is such odds in the man. In pity of the challenger's
youth I would fain dissuade him, but he will not
be entreated. Speak to him, ladies; see if you can
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move him.
CELIA
Call him hither, good Monsieur Le Beau.
DUKE FREDERICK
Do so. I'll not be by.
[Duke Frederick stands aside.]
LE BEAU
[To Orlando] Monsieur the Challenger, the Princess calls
for you.
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ORLANDO
[Approaching Rosalind and Celia] I attend them with all respect and duty.
ROSALIND
Young man, have you challenged Charles the
wrestler?
ORLANDO
No, fair princess, he is the general challenger.
I come but in, as others do, to try with him the strength
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of my youth.
CELIA
Young gentleman, your spirits are too bold for
your years. You have seen cruel proof of this man's
strength. If you saw yourself with your eyes, or knew
yourself with your judgment, the fear of your adventure
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would counsel you to a more equal enterprise. We
pray you, for your own sake, to embrace your own safety
and give over this attempt.
ROSALIND
Do, young sir. Your reputation shall not therefore
be misprized. We will make it our suit to the Duke that
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the wrestling might not go forward.
ORLANDO
I beseech you, punish me not with your hard
thoughts, wherein I confess me much guilty to deny
so fair and excellent ladies anything. But let your
fair eyes and gentle wishes go with me to my trial,
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wherein if I be foiled, there is but one shamed that was
never gracious; if killed, but one dead that is willing to
be so. I shall do my friends no wrong, for I have none to
lament me; the world no injury, for in it I have nothing.
Only in the world I fill up a place, which may be better
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supplied when I have made it empty.
ROSALIND
The little strength that I have, I would it were
with you.
CELIA
And mine, to eke out hers.
ROSALIND
Fare you well. Pray heaven I be deceived in you!
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CELIA
Your heart's desires be with you!
CHARLES
Come, where is this young gallant that is so
desirous to lie with his mother earth?
ORLANDO
Ready, sir, but his will hath in it a more modest
working.
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DUKE FREDERICK
You shall try but one fall.
CHARLES
No, I warrant Your Grace you shall not entreat
him to a second, that have so mightily persuaded him
from a first.
ORLANDO
You mean to mock me after; you should not
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have mocked me before. But come your ways.
ROSALIND
Now, Hercules be thy speed, young man!
CELIA
I would I were invisible, to catch the strong fellow
by the leg.
[Orlando and Charles] wrestle.
ROSALIND
Oh, excellent young man!
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CELIA
If I had a thunderbolt in mine eye, I can tell who
should down.
[Charles is thrown.]
Shout.
DUKE FREDERICK
No more, no more.
ORLANDO
Yes, I beseech Your Grace. I am not yet
well breathed.
| 380
DUKE FREDERICK | |
| How dost thou, Charles? | |
| LE BEAU | |
| He cannot speak, my lord. | |
DUKE FREDERICK
Bear him away. [Charles is carried out.]
What is thy name, young man?
ORLANDO
Orlando, my liege, the youngest son of Sir Rowland
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de Boys.
DUKE FREDERICK
I would thou hadst been son to some man else.
The world esteemed thy father honorable,
But I did find him still mine enemy.
Thou shouldst have better pleased me with this deed
390
Hadst thou descended from another house.
But fare thee well; thou art a gallant youth.
I would thou hadst told me of another father.
CELIA
[To Rosalind] Were I my father, coz, would I do this?
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ORLANDO
[Talking to himself] I am more proud to be Sir Rowland's son,
His youngest son, and would not change that calling
To be adopted heir to Frederick.
ROSALIND
[To Celia] My father loved Sir Rowland as his soul,
And all the world was of my father's mind.
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Had I before known this young man his son,
I should have given him tears unto entreaties
| Ere he should thus have ventured. | |
| CELIA | |
| Gentle cousin, | |
Let us go thank him, and encourage him.
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My father's rough and envious disposition
Sticks me at heart.[To Orlando]Sir, you have well deserved.
If you do keep your promises in love
But justly as you have exceeded all promise,
| Your mistress shall be happy. | |
| 410
ROSALIND | |
| Gentleman, [Giving him a chain from her neck] | |
Wear this for me, one out of suits with fortune,
That could give more, but that her hand lacks means. [To Celia]
Shall we go, coz?
CELIA
Ay. Fare you well, fair gentleman.
[Rosalind and Celia start to leave.]
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ORLANDO
[Aside] Can I not say "I thank you"? My better parts
Are all thrown down, and that which here stands up
Is but a quintain, a mere lifeless block.
ROSALIND
[To Celia] He calls us back. My pride fell with my fortunes;
I'll ask him what he would. -- Did you call, sir?
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Sir, you have wrestled well, and overthrown
More than your enemies.
CELIA
Will you go, coz?
ROSALIND
Have with you. -- Fare you well.
ORLANDO
What passion hangs these weights upon my tongue?
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I cannot speak to her, yet she urged conference.
Enter Le Beau.
O poor Orlando, thou art overthrown!
Or Charles or something weaker masters thee.
LE BEAU
Good sir, I do in friendship counsel you
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To leave this place. Albeit you have deserved
High commendation, true applause, and love,
Yet such is now the Duke's condition
That he misconsters all that you have done.
The Duke is humorous. What he is indeed
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More suits you to conceive than I to speak of.
ORLANDO
I thank you, sir. And pray you tell me this:
Which of the two was daughter of the Duke
That here was at the wrestling?
LE BEAU
Neither his daughter, if we judge by manners,
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But yet indeed the taller is his daughter.
The other is daughter to the banished Duke,
And here detained by her usurping uncle
To keep his daughter company, whose loves
Are dearer than the natural bond of sisters.
445
But I can tell you that of late this Duke
Hath ta'en displeasure 'gainst his gentle niece,
Grounded upon no other argument
But that the people praise her for her virtues
And pity her for her good father's sake;
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And, on my life, his malice 'gainst the lady
Will suddenly break forth. Sir, fare you well.
Hereafter, in a better world than this,
I shall desire more love and knowledge of you.
ORLANDO
I rest much bounden to you. Fare you well.
[Exit Le Beau.]
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Thus must I from the smoke into the smother;
From tyrant Duke unto a tyrant brother.
But heavenly Rosalind!
[1.3]
Enter Celia and Rosalind.
460
CELIA
Why, cousin, why, Rosalind! Cupid have mercy!
Not a word?
ROSALIND
Not one to throw at a dog.
CELIA
No, thy words are too precious to be cast away
upon curs. Throw some of them at me. Come, lame me
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with reasons.
ROSALIND
Then there were two cousins laid up, when the
one should be lamed with reasons and the other
mad without any.
CELIA
But is all this for your father?
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ROSALIND
No, some of it is for my child's father. Oh,
how full of briers is this working-day world!
CELIA
They are but burs, cousin, thrown upon thee
in holiday foolery. If we walk not in the trodden paths,
our very petticoats will catch them.
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ROSALIND
I could shake them off my coat. These burs are
in my heart.
CELIA
Hem them away.
ROSALIND
I would try, if I could cry "hem" and have him.
CELIA
Come, come, wrestle with thy affections.
480
ROSALIND
Oh, they take the part of a better wrestler than
myself.
CELIA
Oh, a good wish upon you! You will try in time,
in despite of a fall. But, turning these jests out of service,
let us talk in good earnest. Is it possible, on such a sudden,
485
you should fall into so strong a liking with old Sir
Rowland's youngest son?
ROSALIND
The Duke my father loved his father dearly.
CELIA
Doth it therefore ensue that you should love his
son dearly? By this kind of chase, I should hate
490
him, for my father hated his father dearly; yet I hate
not Orlando.
ROSALIND
No, faith, hate him not, for my sake.
CELIA
Why should I not? Doth he not deserve well?
Enter Duke [Frederick], with Lords.
495
ROSALIND
Let me love him for that, and do you love him
because I do. Look, here comes the Duke.
CELIA
With his eyes full of anger.
DUKE FREDERICK
[To Rosalind] Mistress, dispatch you with your safest haste,
| And get you from our court. | ||
| 500
ROSALIND | ||
| Me, uncle? | ||
| DUKE FREDERICK | ||
| You, cousin. | ||
Within these ten days if that thou be'st found
So near our public court as twenty miles,
| Thou diest for it. | |
| 505
ROSALIND | |
| I do beseech Your Grace, | |
Let me the knowledge of my fault bear with me.
If with myself I hold intelligence
Or have acquaintance with mine own desires,
If that I do not dream, or be not frantic --
510
As I do trust I am not -- then, dear uncle,
Never so much as in a thought unborn
| Did I offend Your Highness. | |
| DUKE FREDERICK | |
| Thus do all traitors. | |
If their purgation did consist in words,
515
They are as innocent as grace itself.
Let it suffice thee that I trust thee not.
ROSALIND
Yet your mistrust cannot make me a traitor.
Tell me whereon the likelihood depends.
DUKE FREDERICK
Thou art thy father's daughter; there's enough.
520
ROSALIND
So was I when Your Highness took his dukedom;
So was I when Your Highness banished him.
Treason is not inherited, my lord;
Or, if we did derive it from our friends,
What's that to me? My father was no traitor.
525
Then, good my liege, mistake me not so much
To think my poverty is treacherous.
CELIA
Dear sovereign, hear me speak.
DUKE FREDERICK
Ay, Celia, we stayed her for your sake,
Else had she with her father ranged along.
530
CELIA
I did not then entreat to have her stay;
It was your pleasure, and your own remorse.
I was too young that time to value her,
But now I know her. If she be a traitor,
Why so am I. We still have slept together,
535
Rose at an instant, learned, played, eat together,
And wheresoe'er we went, like Juno's swans
Still we went coupled and inseparable.
DUKE FREDERICK
She is too subtle for thee; and her smoothness,
Her very silence and her patience,
540
Speak to the people, and they pity her.
Thou art a fool. She robs thee of thy name,
And thou wilt show more bright and seem more virtuous
When she is gone. Then open not thy lips.
Firm and irrevocable is my doom
545
Which I have passed upon her; she is banished.
CELIA
Pronounce that sentence, then, on me, my liege!
I cannot live out of her company.
DUKE FREDERICK
You are a fool. -- You, niece, provide yourself.
If you outstay the time, upon mine honor,
550
And in the greatness of my word, you die.
CELIA
O my poor Rosalind, whither wilt thou go?
Wilt thou change fathers? I will give thee mine.
I charge thee, be not thou more grieved than I am.
| 555
ROSALIND | |
| I have more cause. | |
| CELIA | |
| Thou hast not, cousin. | |
Prithee be cheerful. Know'st thou not the Duke
| Hath banished me, his daughter? | |
| ROSALIND | |
| That he hath not. | |
560
CELIA
No? "Hath not"? Rosalind lacks, then, the love
Which teacheth thee that thou and I am one.
Shall we be sundered? Shall we part, sweet girl?
No; let my father seek another heir.
Therefore devise with me how we may fly,
565
Whither to go, and what to bear with us.
And do not seek to take your change upon you,
To bear your griefs yourself, and leave me out;
For, by this heaven, now at our sorrows pale,
Say what thou canst, I'll go along with thee.
570
ROSALIND
Why, whither shall we go?
CELIA
To seek my uncle in the Forest of Arden.
ROSALIND
Alas, what danger will it be to us,
Maids as we are, to travel forth so far!
Beauty provoketh thieves sooner than gold.
575
CELIA
I'll put myself in poor and mean attire,
And with a kind of umber smirch my face;
The like do you. So shall we pass along,
| And never stir assailants. | |
| ROSALIND | |
| Were it not better, | |
580
Because that I am more than common tall,
That I did suit me all points like a man?
A gallant curtal-ax upon my thigh,
A boar-spear in my hand, and -- in my heart
Lie there what hidden woman's fear there will --
585
We'll have a swashing and a martial outside,
As many other mannish cowards have
That do outface it with their semblances.
CELIA
What shall I call thee when thou art a man?
ROSALIND
I'll have no worse a name than Jove's own page,
590
And therefore look you call me Ganymede.
But what will you be called?
CELIA
Something that hath a reference to my state:
No longer Celia, but Aliena.
ROSALIND
But, cousin, what if we assayed to steal
595
The clownish fool out of your father's court?
Would he not be a comfort to our travel?
CELIA
He'll go along o'er the wide world with me.
Leave me alone to woo him. Let's away,
And get our jewels and our wealth together,
600
Devise the fittest time and safest way
To hide us from pursuit that will be made
After my flight. Now go we in content
To liberty, and not to banishment.
[2.1]
605
Enter Duke Senior, Amiens, and two or three Lords,
like foresters.
DUKE SENIOR
Now, my co-mates and brothers in exile,
Hath not old custom made this life more sweet
Than that of painted pomp? Are not these woods
610
More free from peril than the envious court?
Here feel we not the penalty of Adam,
The seasons' difference, as the icy fang
And churlish chiding of the winter's wind,
Which when it bites and blows upon my body
615
Even till I shrink with cold, I smile and say
"This is no flattery; these are counselors
That feelingly persuade me what I am."
Sweet are the uses of adversity,
Which, like the toad, ugly and venomous,
620
Wears yet a precious jewel in his head;
And this our life, exempt from public haunt,
Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
Sermons in stones, and good in everything.
AMIENS
I would not change it. Happy is Your Grace,
625
That can translate the stubbornness of fortune
Into so quiet and so sweet a style.
DUKE SENIOR
Come, shall we go and kill us venison?
And yet it irks me the poor dappled fools,
Being native burghers of this desert city,
630
Should in their own confines with forkèd heads
| Have their round haunches gored. | |
| FIRST LORD | |
| Indeed, my lord, | |
The melancholy Jaques grieves at that,
And in that kind swears you do more usurp
635
Than doth your brother that hath banished you.
Today my Lord of Amiens and myself
Did steal behind him as he lay along
Under an oak whose antique root peeps out
Upon the brook that brawls along this wood,
640
To the which place a poor sequestered stag
That from the hunter's aim had ta'en a hurt
Did come to languish. And indeed, my lord,
The wretched animal heaved forth such groans
That their discharge did stretch his leathern coat
645
Almost to bursting, and the big round tears
Coursed one another down his innocent nose
In piteous chase. And thus the hairy fool,
Much markèd of the melancholy Jaques,
Stood on th'extremest verge of the swift brook,
| 650
Augmenting it with tears. |
|
| DUKE SENIOR | |
| But what said Jaques? | |
Did he not moralize this spectacle?
FIRST LORD
Oh, yes, into a thousand similes.
First, for his weeping into the needless stream:
655
"Poor deer," quoth he, "thou mak'st a testament
As worldlings do, giving thy sum of more
To that which had too much." Then, being there alone,
Left and abandoned of his velvet friends:
"'Tis right," quoth he, "thus misery doth part
660
The flux of company." Anon, a careless herd,
Full of the pasture, jumps along by him
And never stays to greet him. "Ay," quoth Jaques,
"Sweep on, you fat and greasy citizens;
'Tis just the fashion. Wherefore do you look
665
Upon that poor and broken bankrupt there?"
Thus most invectively he pierceth through
The body of the country, city, court,
Yea, and of this our life, swearing that we
Are mere usurpers, tyrants, and what's worse,
670
To fright the animals and to kill them up
In their assigned and native dwelling place.
DUKE SENIOR
And did you leave him in this contemplation?
SECOND LORD
We did, my lord, weeping and commenting
| Upon the sobbing deer. | |
| 675
DUKE SENIOR | |
| Show me the place. | |
I love to cope him in these sullen fits,
For then he's full of matter.
FIRST LORD
I'll bring you to him straight.
[2.2]
680
Enter Duke [Frederick], with Lords.
DUKE FREDERICK
Can it be possible that no man saw them?
It cannot be. Some villains of my court
Are of consent and sufferance in this.
FIRST LORD
I cannot hear of any that did see her.
685
The ladies, her attendants of her chamber,
Saw her abed, and in the morning early
They found the bed untreasured of their mistress.
SECOND LORD
My lord, the roinish clown, at whom so oft
Your Grace was wont to laugh, is also missing.
690
Hisperia, the princess' gentlewoman,
Confesses that she secretly o'erheard
Your daughter and her cousin much commend
The parts and graces of the wrestler
That did but lately foil the sinewy Charles,
695
And she believes, wherever they are gone,
That youth is surely in their company.
DUKE FREDERICK
Send to his brother; fetch that gallant hither.
If he be absent, bring his brother to me;
I'll make him find him. Do this suddenly,
700
And let not search and inquisition quail
To bring again these foolish runaways.
[2.3]
Enter Orlando and Adam,[ meeting].
ORLANDO
Who's there?
705
ADAM
What, my young master? Oh, my gentle master!
Oh, my sweet master, oh, you memory
Of old Sir Rowland! Why, what make you here?
Why are you virtuous? Why do people love you?
And wherefore are you gentle, strong, and valiant?
710
Why would you be so fond to overcome
The bonny prizer of the humorous Duke?
Your praise is come too swiftly home before you.
Know you not, master, to some kind of men
Their graces serve them but as enemies?
715
No more do yours. Your virtues, gentle master,
Are sanctified and holy traitors to you.
Oh, what a world is this, when what is comely
Envenoms him that bears it!
| ORLANDO | |
| Why, what's the matter? | |
| 720
ADAM | |
| O unhappy youth, | |
Come not within these doors! Within this roof
The enemy of all your graces lives.
Your brother -- no, no brother; yet the son --
Yet not the son; I will not call him son
725
Of him I was about to call his father --
Hath heard your praises, and this night he means
To burn the lodging where you use to lie,
And you within it. If he fail of that,
He will have other means to cut you off.
730
I overheard him and his practices.
This is no place; this house is but a butchery.
Abhor it, fear it, do not enter it.
ORLANDO
Why, whither, Adam, wouldst thou have me go?
ADAM
No matter whither, so you come not here.
735
ORLANDO
What, wouldst thou have me go and beg my food,
Or with a base and boist'rous sword enforce
A thievish living on the common road?
This I must do, or know not what to do;
Yet this I will not do, do how I can.
740
I rather will subject me to the malice
Of a diverted blood and bloody brother.
ADAM
But do not so. I have five hundred crowns,
The thrifty hire I saved under your father,
Which I did store to be my foster nurse
745
When service should in my old limbs lie lame
And unregarded age in corners thrown.
Take that, and He that doth the ravens feed,
Yea, providently caters for the sparrow,
Be comfort to my age! Here is the gold; [Offering money]
750
All this I give you. Let me be your servant.
Though I look old, yet I am strong and lusty,
For in my youth I never did apply
Hot and rebellious liquors in my blood,
Nor did not with unbashful forehead woo
755
The means of weakness and debility;
Therefore my age is as a lusty winter,
Frosty, but kindly. Let me go with you;
I'll do the service of a younger man
In all your business and necessities.
760
ORLANDO
Oh, good old man, how well in thee appears
The constant service of the antique world,
When service sweat for duty, not for meed!
Thou art not for the fashion of these times,
Where none will sweat but for promotion,
765
And having that do choke their service up
Even with the having. It is not so with thee.
But, poor old man, thou prun'st a rotten tree
That cannot so much as a blossom yield
In lieu of all thy pains and husbandry.
770
But come thy ways. We'll go along together,
And ere we have thy youthful wages spent
We'll light upon some settled low content.
ADAM
Master, go on, and I will follow thee
To the last gasp, with truth and loyalty.
775
From seventeen years till now almost fourscore
Here livèd I, but now live here no more.
At seventeen years many their fortunes seek,
But at fourscore it is too late a week;
Yet fortune cannot recompense me better
780
Than to die well and not my master's debtor.
[2.4]
Enter Rosalind for Ganymede, Celia for Aliena, and
Clown, alias Touchstone.
ROSALIND
Oh, Jupiter, how weary are my spirits!
785
TOUCHSTONE
I care not for my spirits, if my legs were not
weary.
ROSALIND
I could find in my heart to disgrace my man's
apparel and to cry like a woman; but I must comfort
the weaker vessel, as doublet and hose ought to show itself
790
courageous to petticoat. Therefore, courage, good
Aliena!
CELIA
I pray you, bear with me; I cannot go no further.
TOUCHSTONE
For my part, I had rather bear with you than
795
bear you; yet I should bear no cross if I did bear
you, for I think you have no money in your purse.
ROSALIND
Well, this is the Forest of Arden.
TOUCHSTONE
Ay, now am I in Arden; the more fool I. When I
was at home I was in a better place, but travelers must
800
be content.
Enter Corin and Silvius.
ROSALIND
Ay, be so, good Touchstone. -- Look you, who comes
here, a young man and an old in solemn talk.
[They stand aside and listen.]
CORIN
[To Silvius] That is the way to make her scorn you still.
805
SILVIUS
Oh, Corin, that thou knew'st how I do love her!
CORIN
I partly guess; for I have loved ere now.
SILVIUS
No, Corin, being old, thou canst not guess,
Though in thy youth thou wast as true a lover
As ever sighed upon a midnight pillow.
810
But if thy love were ever like to mine --
As sure I think did never man love so --
How many actions most ridiculous
Hast thou been drawn to by thy fantasy?
CORIN
Into a thousand that I have forgotten.
815
SILVIUS
Oh, thou didst then never love so heartily!
If thou rememb'rest not the slightest folly
That ever love did make thee run into,
Thou hast not loved.
Or if thou hast not sat as I do now,
820
Wearing thy hearer in thy mistress' praise,
Thou hast not loved.
Or if thou hast not broke from company
Abruptly, as my passion now makes me,
Thou hast not loved.
825
O Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe!
ROSALIND
Alas, poor shepherd! Searching of thy wound,
I have by hard adventure found mine own.
TOUCHSTONE
And I mine. I remember, when I was in love,
I broke my sword upon a stone, and bid him take that for
830
coming a-night to Jane Smile; and I remember the kissing
of her batler, and the cow's dugs that her pretty
chapped hands had milked; and I remember the
wooing of a peascod instead of her, from whom I took two
cods, and giving her them again, said with weeping
835
tears, "Wear these for my sake." We that are true lovers
run into strange capers; but as all is mortal in
nature, so is all nature in love mortal in folly.
ROSALIND
Thou speak'st wiser than thou art ware of.
TOUCHSTONE
Nay, I shall ne'er be ware of mine own wit till
840
I break my shins against it.
ROSALIND
Jove, Jove! This shepherd's passion
Is much upon my fashion.
TOUCHSTONE
And mine; but it grows something stale with
me.
845
CELIA
I pray you, one of you question yond man
If he for gold will give us any food.
| I faint almost to death. | |
| TOUCHSTONE | |
| [To Corin] Holla, you clown! | |
| ROSALIND | |
| Peace, fool! He's not thy kinsman. | |
| 850
CORIN | |
| Who calls? | |
| TOUCHSTONE | |
| Your betters, sir. | |
| CORIN | |
| Else are they very wretched. | |
ROSALIND
Peace, I say. -- Good even to you, friend.
CORIN
And to you, gentle sir, and to you all.
855
ROSALIND
I prithee, shepherd, if that love or gold
Can in this desert place buy entertainment,
Bring us where we may rest ourselves and feed.
Here's a young maid with travel much oppressed,
| And faints for succor. | |
| 860
CORIN | |
| Fair sir, I pity her, | |
And wish, for her sake more than for mine own,
My fortunes were more able to relieve her;
But I am shepherd to another man,
And do not shear the fleeces that I graze.
865
My master is of churlish disposition,
And little recks to find the way to heaven
By doing deeds of hospitality.
Besides, his cote, his flocks, and bounds of feed
Are now on sale, and at our sheepcote now,
870
By reason of his absence, there is nothing
That you will feed on. But what is, come see,
And in my voice most welcome shall you be.
ROSALIND
What is he that shall buy his flock and pasture?
CORIN
That young swain that you saw here
875
but erewhile,
That little cares for buying anything.
ROSALIND
I pray thee, if it stand with honesty,
Buy thou the cottage, pasture, and the flock,
And thou shalt have to pay for it of us.
880
CELIA
And we will mend thy wages.
I like this place,
And willingly could
waste my time in it.
CORIN
Assuredly the thing is to be sold.
Go with me. If you like upon report
885
The soil, the profit, and this kind of life,
I will your very faithful feeder be,
And buy it with your gold right suddenly.
[2.5]
Enter Amiens, Jaques, and others.
[A table is set out.]
890
Song
AMIENS
[Sings]
Under the greenwood tree
Who loves to lie with me,
And turn his merry note
Unto the sweet bird's throat,
895
Come hither, come hither, come hither.
_Here shall he see
_No enemy
But winter and rough weather.
JAQUES
More, more, I prithee, more.
AMIENS
It will make you melancholy, Monsieur Jaques.
900
JAQUES
I thank it. More, I prithee, more.
I can suck melancholy out of a song
as a weasel sucks eggs. More, I prithee, more.
AMIENS
My voice is ragged. I know I cannot please
you.
905
JAQUES
I do not desire you to please me,
I do desire you to sing.
Come, more; another stanzo. Call you 'em "stanzos"?
AMIENS
What you will, Monsieur Jaques.
JAQUES
Nay, I care not for their names; they owe me
910
nothing. Will you sing?
AMIENS
More at your request than to please myself.
JAQUES
Well then, if ever I thank any man, I'll thank
you. But that they call "compliment" is like th'encounter
of two dog-apes; and when a man thanks me heartily,
915
methinks I have given him a penny, and he renders me
the beggarly thanks. Come, sing; and you that will not,
hold your tongues.
AMIENS
Well, I'll end the song. -- Sirs, cover the while;
the Duke will drink under this tree. -- He hath been all this
920
day to look you.
[Food and drink are set out.]
JAQUES
And I have been all this day to avoid him.
He is too disputable for my company.
I think of as many matters as he, but I give
heaven thanks and make no boast of them.
925
Come, warble, come.
Song
AMIENS
[Sings] Who doth ambition shun,
And loves to live i'th' sun,
Seeking the food he eats,
930
And pleased with what he gets, All together here
Come hither, come hither, come hither.
_Here shall he see
_No enemy
But winter and rough weather.
JAQUES
I'll give you a verse to this note
that I made yesterday in despite of my invention.
935
AMIENS
And I'll sing it.
JAQUES
Thus it goes:
If it do come to pass
That any man turn ass,
Leaving his wealth and ease
A stubborn will to please,
940
Ducdame, ducdame, ducdame.
_Here shall he see
_Gross fools as he,
An if he will come to me.
AMIENS
What's that "ducdame"?
JAQUES
'Tis a Greek invocation, to call fools into a circle.
945
I'll go sleep, if I can; if I cannot, I'll rail against all
the first-born of Egypt.
AMIENS
And I'll go seek the Duke.
His banquet is prepared.
[2.6]
950
Enter Orlando and Adam.
ADAM
Dear master, I can go no further.
Oh, I die for food! Here lie I down,
and measure out my grave. Farewell, kind master.
[He lies down.]
ORLANDO
Why, how now, Adam? No greater heart in thee?
955
Live a little, comfort a little, cheer thyself a little.
If this uncouth forest yield anything savage,
I will either be food for it or bring it for food to thee.
Thy conceit is nearer death than thy powers.
For my sake be comfortable; hold death awhile
960
at the arm's end. I will here be with thee presently,
and if I bring thee not something to eat,
I will give thee leave to die; but if thou diest
before I come, thou art a mocker of my labor.
Well said! Thou look'st cheerly,
965
and I'll be with thee quickly. Yet thou liest
in the bleak air. Come, I will bear thee
to some shelter; and thou shalt not die
for lack of a dinner,
if there live anything in this desert. [He picks up Adam.]
970
Cheerly, good Adam!
[2.7]
Enter Duke Senior, [Amiens], and Lords, like outlaws
DUKE SENIOR
I think he be transformed into a beast,
For I can nowhere find him like a man.
975
AMIENS
My lord, he is but even now gone hence.
Here was he merry, hearing of a song.
DUKE SENIOR
If he, compact of jars, grow musical,
We shall have shortly discord in the spheres.
Go seek him. Tell him I would speak with him.
980
Enter Jaques.
AMIENS
He saves my labor by his own approach.
DUKE SENIOR
Why, how now, monsieur, what a life is this,
That your poor friends must woo your company?
What, you look merrily.
985
JAQUES
A fool, a fool! I met a fool i'th'forest,
A motley fool. A miserable world!
As I do live by food, I met a fool,
Who laid him down and basked him in the sun,
And railed on Lady Fortune in good terms,
990
In good set terms, and yet a motley fool.
"Good morrow, fool," quoth I; "No, sir," quoth he,
"Call me not fool till heaven hath sent me fortune."
And then he drew a dial from his poke,
And, looking on it with lack-luster eye,
995
Says very wisely, "It is ten o'clock.
Thus we may see," quoth he, "how the world wags:
'Tis but an hour ago since it was nine,
And after one hour more 'twill be eleven;
And so, from hour to hour, we ripe and ripe,
1000
And then, from hour to hour, we rot and rot,
And thereby hangs a tale." When I did hear
The motley fool thus moral on the time,
My lungs began to crow like Chanticleer
That fools should be so deep-contemplative,
1005
And I did laugh sans intermission
An hour by his dial. Oh, noble fool!
A worthy fool! Motley's the only wear.
DUKE SENIOR
What fool is this?
JAQUES
Oh, worthy fool! One that hath been a courtier,
1010
And says, if ladies be but young and fair,
They have the gift to know it. And in his brain,
Which is as dry as the remainder biscuit
After a voyage, he hath strange places crammed
With observation, the which he vents
1015
In mangled forms. Oh, that I were a fool!
I am ambitious for a motley coat.
| DUKE SENIOR | |
| Thou shalt have one. | |
| JAQUES | |
| It is my only suit, | |
Provided that you weed your better judgments
1020
Of all opinion that grows rank in them
That I am wise. I must have liberty
Withal, as large a charter as the wind,
To blow on whom I please, for so fools have.
And they that are most gallèd with my folly,
1025
They most must laugh. And why, sir, must they so?
The "why" is plain as way to parish church:
He that a fool doth very wisely hit
Doth very foolishly, although he smart,
Not to seem senseless of the bob; if not,
1030
The wise man's folly is anatomized
Even by the squand'ring glances of the fool.
Invest me in my motley; give me leave
To speak my mind, and I will through and through
Cleanse the foul body of th'infected world,
1035
If they will patiently receive my medicine.
DUKE SENIOR
Fie on thee! I can tell what thou wouldst do.
JAQUES
What, for a counter, would I do but good?
DUKE SENIOR
Most mischievous foul sin, in chiding sin.
For thou thyself hast been a libertine,
1040
As sensual as the brutish sting itself;
And all th'embossèd sores and headed evils
That thou with license of free foot hast caught
Wouldst thou disgorge into the general world.
JAQUES
Why, who cries out on pride
1045
That can therein tax any private party?
Doth it not flow as hugely as the sea,
Till that the weary very means do ebb?
What woman in the city do I name
When that I say the city woman bears
1050
The cost of princes on unworthy shoulders?
Who can come in and say that I mean her,
When such a one as she, such is her neighbor?
Or what is he of basest function
That says his bravery is not on my cost,
1055
Thinking that I mean him, but therein suits
His folly to the mettle of my speech?
There then, how then? What then? Let me see wherein
My tongue hath wronged him: if it do him right,
Then he hath wronged himself; if he be free,
1060
Why then my taxing like a wild goose flies,
Unclaimed of any man. But who come here?
Enter Orlando [with his sword drawn].
ORLANDO
Forbear, and eat no more!
JAQUES
Why, I have eat none yet.
1065
ORLANDO
Nor shalt not, till necessity be served.
JAQUES
Of what kind should this cock come of?
DUKE SENIOR
[To Orlando] Art thou thus boldened, man, by thy distress?
Or else a rude despiser of good manners,
That in civility thou seem'st so empty?
1070
ORLANDO
You touched my vein at first. The thorny point
Of bare distress hath ta'en from me the show
Of smooth civility; yet am I inland bred,
And know some nurture. But forbear, I say.
He dies that touches any of this fruit
1075
Till I and my affairs are answerèd.
JAQUES
An you will not be answered with reason,
I must die.
DUKE SENIOR
What would you have?
Your gentleness shall force
More than your force
1080
move us to gentleness.
ORLANDO
I almost die for food, and let me have it!
DUKE SENIOR
Sit down and feed, and welcome to our table.
ORLANDO
Speak you so gently? Pardon me, I pray you.
I thought that all things had been savage here,
1085
And therefore put I on the countenance
Of stern commandment. But whate'er you are
That in this desert inaccessible,
Under the shade of melancholy boughs,
Lose and neglect the creeping hours of time;
1090
If ever you have looked on better days,
If ever been where bells have knolled to church,
If ever sat at any good man's feast,
If ever from your eyelids wiped a tear,
And know what 'tis to pity and be pitied,
1095
Let gentleness my strong enforcement be;
In the which hope I blush, and hide my sword.
[He sheathes his sword.]
DUKE SENIOR
True is it that we have seen better days,
And have with holy bell been knolled to church,
And sat at good men's feasts, and wiped our eyes
1100
Of drops that sacred pity hath engendered;
And therefore sit you down in gentleness,
And take upon command what help we have
That to your wanting may be ministered.
ORLANDO
Then but forbear your food a little while,
1105
Whiles, like a doe, I go to find my fawn,
And give it food. There is an old poor man
Who after me hath many a weary step
Limped in pure love. Till he be first sufficed,
Oppressed with two weak evils, age and hunger,
| 1110
I will not touch a bit. |
|
| DUKE SENIOR | |
| Go find him out, | |
And we will nothing waste till you return.
ORLANDO
I thank ye; and be blest for your good comfort!
DUKE SENIOR
Thou see'st we are not all alone unhappy:
1115
This wide and universal theater
Presents more woeful pageants than the scene
| Wherein we play in. | |
| JAQUES | |
| All the world's a stage, | |
And all the men and women merely players.
1120
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
1125
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
1130
Jealous in honor, sudden, and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
1135
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
1140
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
1145
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
Enter Orlando with Adam.
DUKE SENIOR
Welcome. Set down your venerable burden,
And let him feed.
ORLANDO
I thank you most for him.
1150
ADAM
So had you need;
I scarce can speak to thank you for myself.
DUKE SENIOR
Welcome. Fall to. I will not trouble you
As yet to question you about your fortunes. --
Give us some music; and, good cousin, sing.
1155
Song
AMIENS
[Sings]
Blow, blow, thou winter wind,
Thou art not so unkind
_As man's ingratitude.
Thy tooth is not so keen,
Because thou art not seen,
_Although thy breath be rude.
1160
Heigh-ho! Sing heigh-ho! unto the green holly.
Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly.
Then, heigh-ho, the holly!
This life is most jolly.
Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky,
That dost not bite so nigh
1165
_As benefits forgot;
Though thou the waters warp,
Thy sting is not so sharp
_As friend remembered not.
Heigh-ho! Sing heigh-ho! unto the green holly.
Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly.
Then, heigh-ho, the holly!
This life is most jolly.
DUKE SENIOR
If that you were the good Sir Rowland's son,
1170
As you have whispered faithfully you were,
And as mine eye doth his effigies witness
Most truly limned and living in your face,
Be truly welcome hither. I am the Duke
That loved your father. The residue of your fortune,
1175
Go to my cave and tell me. [To Adam] Good old man,
Thou art right welcome as thy master is. [To the others]
Support him by the arm.[To Orlando] Give me your hand,
And let me all your fortunes understand.
[3.1]
1180
Enter Duke [Frederick], Lords, and Oliver.
DUKE FREDERICK
"Not see him since?" Sir, sir, that cannot be.
But were I not the better part made mercy,
I should not seek an absent argument
Of my revenge, thou present. But look to it:
1185
Find out thy brother wheresoe'er he is;
Seek him with candle. Bring him dead or living
Within this twelvemonth, or turn thou no more
To seek a living in our territory.
Thy lands and all things that thou dost call thine
1190
Worth seizure do we seize into our hands,
Till thou canst quit thee by thy brother's mouth
Of what we think against thee.
OLIVER
Oh. that Your Highness knew my heart in this!
I never loved my brother in my life.
1195
DUKE FREDERICK
More villain thou. -- Well, push him out of doors,
And let my officers of such a nature
Make an extent upon his house and lands.
Do this expediently, and turn him going.
[3.2]
1200
Enter Orlando [with a paper].
ORLANDO
Hang there, my verse, in witness of my love;
_And thou, thrice-crownèd Queen of Night, survey
With thy chaste eye, from thy pale sphere above,
_Thy huntress' name that my full life doth sway.
1205
O Rosalind! These trees shall be my books,
_And in their barks my thoughts I'll character,
That every eye which in this forest looks
_Shall see thy virtue witnessed everywhere.
Run, run, Orlando, carve on every tree
1210
The fair, the chaste, and unexpressive she.
Enter Corin and Clown [Touchstone].
CORIN
And how like you this shepherd's life, Master Touchstone?
TOUCHSTONE
Truly, shepherd, in respect of itself, it is a
good life; but in respect that it is a shepherd's life, it is
1215
naught. In respect that it is solitary, I like it very well;
but in respect that it is private, it is a very vile life. Now
in respect it is in the fields, it pleaseth me well; but in respect
it is not in the court, it is tedious. As it is a spare
life, look you, it fits my humor well; but as there is no
1220
more plenty in it, it goes much against my stomach.
Hast any philosophy in thee, shepherd?
CORIN
No more but that I know the more one sickens
the worse at ease he is; and that he that wants money,
means, and content is without three good friends; that
1225
the property of rain is to wet, and fire to burn; that
good pasture makes fat sheep, and that a great cause of
the night is lack of the sun; that he that hath learned
no wit by nature nor art may complain of good
breeding, or comes of a very dull kindred.
1230
TOUCHSTONE
Such a one is a natural philosopher.
Wast ever in court, shepherd?
CORIN
No, truly.
TOUCHSTONE
Then thou art damned.
CORIN
Nay, I hope.
1235
TOUCHSTONE
Truly, thou art damned, like an ill-roasted egg,
all on one side.
CORIN
For not being at court? Your reason.
TOUCHSTONE
Why, if thou never wast at court, thou never
saw'st good manners; if thou never saw'st good manners,
1240
then thy manners must be wicked; and wickedness is sin,
and sin is damnation. Thou art in a parlous state,
shepherd.
CORIN
Not a whit, Touchstone. Those that are good manners
at the court are as ridiculous in the country as
1245
the behavior of the country is most mockable at the
court. You told me you salute not at the court but
you kiss your hands; that courtesy would be uncleanly
if courtiers were shepherds.
TOUCHSTONE
Instance, briefly; come, instance.
1250
CORIN
Why, we are still handling our ewes, and their
fells, you know, are greasy.
TOUCHSTONE
Why, do not your courtier's hands sweat? And
is not the grease of a mutton as wholesome as the sweat
of a man? Shallow, shallow. A better instance, I say.
1255
Come.
CORIN
Besides, our hands are hard.
TOUCHSTONE
Your lips will feel them the sooner. Shallow again.
A more sounder instance. Come.
CORIN
And they are often tarred over with the surgery
1260
of our sheep; and would you have us kiss tar? The
courtier's hands are perfumed with civet.
TOUCHSTONE
Most shallow man! Thou worm's meat in respect
of a good piece of flesh indeed! Learn of the wise,
and perpend: civet is of a baser birth than tar, the
1265
very uncleanly flux of a cat. Mend the instance,
shepherd.
CORIN
You have too courtly a wit for me. I'll rest.
TOUCHSTONE
Wilt thou rest damned? God help thee, shallow
man! God make incision in thee! Thou art raw.
1270
CORIN
Sir, I am a true laborer: I earn that I eat, get
that I wear, owe no man hate, envy no man's happiness,
glad of other men's good, content with my harm,
and the greatest of my pride is to see my ewes graze and
my lambs suck.
1275
TOUCHSTONE
That is another simple sin in you, to bring the
ewes and the rams together and to offer to get your
living by the copulation of cattle; to be bawd to a bellwether,
and to betray a she-lamb of a twelvemonth
to crooked-pated old cuckoldly ram, out of all
1280
reasonable match. If thou beest not damned for this,
the devil himself will have no shepherds; I cannot see else
how thou shouldst scape.
CORIN
Here comes young Master Ganymede, my new mistress's
brother.
1285
Enter Rosalind [reading a paper].
ROSALIND
"From the east to western Ind,
No jewel is like Rosalind.
Her worth, being mounted on the wind,
Through all the world bears Rosalind.
1290
All the pictures fairest lined
Are but black to Rosalind.
Let no face be kept in mind
But the fair of Rosalind."
TOUCHSTONE
I'll rhyme you so eight years together, dinners,
1295
and suppers, and sleeping hours, excepted. It is the right
butter-women's rank to market.
ROSALIND
Out, fool!
TOUCHSTONE
For a taste:
If a hart do lack a hind,
1300
Let him seek out Rosalind.
If the cat will after kind,
So be sure will Rosalind.
Wintered garments must be lined,
So must slender Rosalind.
1305
They that reap must sheaf and bind,
Then to cart with Rosalind.
Sweetest nut hath sourest rind,
Such a nut is Rosalind.
He that sweetest rose will find
1310
Must find love's prick and Rosalind.
This is the very false gallop of verses. Why do you infect
yourself with them?
ROSALIND
Peace, you dull fool! I found them on a tree.
TOUCHSTONE
Truly, the tree yields bad fruit.
1315
ROSALIND
I'll graft it with you, and then I shall graft it
with a medlar. Then it will be the earliest fruit i'th' country;
for you'll be rotten ere you be half ripe, and that's
the right virtue of the medlar.
TOUCHSTONE
You have said; but whether wisely or no, let the
1320
forest judge.
Enter Celia, with a writing.
ROSALIND
Peace! Here comes my sister, reading. Stand aside.
CELIA
"Why should this a desert be?
_For it is unpeopled? No.
1325
Tongues I'll hang on every tree
_That shall civil sayings show:
Some, how brief the life of man
_Runs his erring pilgrimage,
That the stretching of a span
1330
_Buckles in his sum of age;
Some, of violated vows
_'Twixt the souls of friend and friend;
But upon the fairest boughs,
_Or at every sentence end,
1335
Will I "Rosalinda" write,
_Teaching all that read to know
The quintessence of every sprite
_Heaven would in little show.
Therefore heaven Nature charged
1340
_That one body should be filled
With all graces wide-enlarged.
_Nature presently distilled
Helen's cheek, but not her heart,
_Cleopatra's majesty,
1345
Atalanta's better part,
_Sad Lucretia's modesty.
Thus Rosalind of many parts
_By heavenly synod was devised
Of many faces, eyes, and hearts
1350
_To have the touches dearest prized.
Heaven would that she these gifts should have,
And I to live and die her slave."
ROSALIND
O most gentle Jupiter, what tedious homily of
love have you wearied your parishioners withal, and
1355
never cried "Have patience, good people!"
CELIA
How now? Back, friends. Shepherd, go off a little.
[To Touchstone]Go with him, sirrah.
TOUCHSTONE
[To Corin] Come, shepherd, let us make an honorable retreat,
though not with bag and baggage, yet with
1360
scrip and scrippage.
CELIA
Didst thou hear these verses?
ROSALIND
Oh, yes, I heard them all, and more too, for some
of them had in them more feet than the verses would
bear.
1365
CELIA
That's no matter; the feet might bear the verses.
ROSALIND
Ay, but the feet were lame, and could not bear
themselves without the verse, and therefore stood lamely
in the verse.
CELIA
But didst thou hear without wondering how
1370
thy name should be hanged and carved upon these trees?
ROSALIND
I was seven of the nine days out of the wonder
before you came; for look here what I found on a
palm tree. I was never so berhymed since Pythagoras'
time that I was an Irish rat, which I can hardly remember.
[Rosalind shows Celia the verse she found.]
1375
CELIA
Trow you who hath done this?
ROSALIND
Is it a man?
CELIA
And a chain that you once wore about his neck.
Change you color?
ROSALIND
I prithee, who?
1380
CELIA
Oh, Lord, Lord, it is a hard matter for friends to
meet; but mountains may be removed with earthquakes,
and so encounter.
ROSALIND
Nay, but who is it?
CELIA
Is it possible?
1385
ROSALIND
Nay, I prithee now, with most petitionary vehemence,
tell me who it is.
CELIA
Oh, wonderful, wonderful, most wonderful
wonderful, and yet again wonderful, and after that,
out of all hooping!
1390
ROSALIND
Good my complexion! Dost thou think, though
I am caparisoned like a man, I have a doublet and hose in
my disposition? One inch of delay more is a South Sea of discovery
. I prithee tell me who is it quickly, and
speak apace. I would thou couldst stammer, that thou
1395
mightst pour this concealed man out of thy mouth as
wine comes out of narrow-mouthed bottle -- either too
much at once or none at all. I prithee take the cork
out of thy mouth, that I may drink thy tidings.
CELIA
So you may put a man in your belly.
1400
ROSALIND
Is he of God's making? What manner of man?
Is his head worth a hat, or his chin worth a beard?
CELIA
Nay, he hath but a little beard.
ROSALIND
Why, God will send more, if the man will be
thankful. Let me stay the growth of his beard, if thou
1405
delay me not the knowledge of his chin.
CELIA
It is young Orlando, that tripped up the wrestler's
heels and your heart both in an instant.
ROSALIND
Nay, but the devil take mocking! Speak sad
brow and true maid.
1410
CELIA
I' faith, coz, 'tis he.
ROSALIND
Orlando?
CELIA
Orlando.
ROSALIND
Alas the day, what shall I do with my doublet and
hose? What did he when thou saw'st him? What said
1415
he? How looked he? Wherein went he? What makes he here?
Did he ask for me? Where remains he? How
parted he with thee? And when shalt thou see him again?
Answer me in one word.
CELIA
You must borrow me Gargantua's mouth first;
1420
'tis a word too great for any mouth of this age's size.
To say ay and no to these particulars is more than to answer
in a catechism.
ROSALIND
But doth he know that I am in this forest, and
in man's apparel? Looks he as freshly as he did the day
1425
he wrestled?
CELIA
It is as easy to count atomies as to resolve the propositions
of a lover. But take a taste of my finding
him, and relish it with good observance. I found him
under a tree, like a dropped acorn.
1430
ROSALIND
It may well be called Jove's tree, when it
drops forth such fruit.
CELIA
Give me audience, good madam.
ROSALIND
Proceed.
CELIA
There lay he, stretched along like a wounded
1435
knight.
ROSALIND
Though it be pity to see such a sight, it well
becomes the ground.
CELIA
Cry "Holla" to thy tongue, I prithee; it curvets
unseasonably. He was furnished like a hunter.
1440
ROSALIND
Oh, ominous! He comes to kill my heart.
CELIA
I would sing my song without a burden.
Thou bring'st me out of tune.
ROSALIND
Do you not know I am a woman? When I think,
I must speak. Sweet, say on.
1445
Enter Orlando and Jaques.
CELIA
You bring me out. -- Soft, comes he not here?
ROSALIND
'Tis he. Slink by, and note him.
[Rosalind and Celia stand aside and listen.]
JAQUES
[To Orlando] I thank you for your company, but, good faith,
I had as lief have been myself alone.
1450
ORLANDO
And so had I; but yet, for fashion sake,
I thank you too for your society.
JAQUES
God b'wi' you. Let's meet as little as we can.
ORLANDO
I do desire we may be better strangers.
JAQUES
I pray you, mar no more trees with writing
1455
love songs in their barks.
ORLANDO
I pray you, mar no more of my verses with reading
them ill-favoredly.
JAQUES
Rosalind is your love's name?
ORLANDO
Yes, just.
JAQUES
I do not like her name.
1460
ORLANDO
There was no thought of pleasing you when she
was christened.
JAQUES
What stature is she of?
ORLANDO
Just as high as my heart.
JAQUES
You are full of pretty answers. Have you not been acquainted
1465
with goldsmiths' wives, and conned them out of rings?
ORLANDO
Not so; but I answer you right painted cloth,
from whence you have studied your questions.
JAQUES
You have a nimble wit; I think 'twas made of
Atalanta's heels. Will you sit down with me? And
1470
we two will rail against our mistress the world, and all
our misery.
ORLANDO
I will chide no breather in the world but myself,
against whom I know most faults.
JAQUES
The worst fault you have is to be in love.
1475
ORLANDO
'Tis a fault I will not change for your best virtue.
I am weary of you.
JAQUES
By my troth, I was seeking for a fool when I
found you.
ORLANDO
He is drowned in the brook. Look but in, and
1480
you shall see him.
JAQUES
There I shall see mine own figure.
ORLANDO
Which I take to be either a fool or a cipher.
JAQUES
I'll tarry no longer with you. Farewell, good Signior
Love.
1485
ORLANDO
I am glad of your departure. Adieu, good Monsieur
Melancholy.
ROSALIND
[Aside to Celia] I will speak to him like a saucy lackey, and
under that habit play the knave with him. -- Do you hear, forester?
ORLANDO
Very well. What would you?
1490
ROSALIND
I pray you, what is't o'clock?
ORLANDO
You should ask me what time o' day. There's no
clock in the forest.
ROSALIND
Then there is no true lover in the forest, else
sighing every minute and groaning every hour would
1495
detect the lazy foot of Time as well as a clock.
ORLANDO
And why not the swift foot of Time? Had not
that been as proper?
ROSALIND
By no means, sir. Time travels in divers paces
with divers persons. I'll tell you who Time ambles withal,
1500
who Time trots withal, who Time gallops withal,
and who he stands still withal.
ORLANDO
I prithee, who doth he trot withal?
ROSALIND
Marry, he trots hard with a young maid between
the contract of her marriage and the day it is solemnized.
1505
If the interim be but a se'nnight, Time's pace is so hard
that it seems the length of seven year.
ORLANDO
Who ambles Time withal?
ROSALIND
With a priest that lacks Latin and a rich man
that hath not the gout, for the one sleeps easily because
1510
he cannot study, and the other lives merrily because
he feels no pain; the one lacking the burden of
lean and wasteful learning, the other knowing no burden
of heavy tedious penury. These Time
ambles withal.
1515
ORLANDO
Who doth he gallop withal?
ROSALIND
With a thief to the gallows, for though he
go as softly as foot can fall, he thinks himself too soon
there.
ORLANDO
Who stays it still withal?
1520
ROSALIND
With lawyers in the vacation; for they sleep
between term and term, and then they perceive not
how Time moves.
ORLANDO
Where dwell you, pretty youth?
ROSALIND
With this shepherdess, my sister, here in the
1525
skirts of the forest, like fringe upon a petticoat.
ORLANDO
Are you native of this place?
ROSALIND
As the coney that you see dwell where she is
kindled.
ORLANDO
Your accent is something finer than you could
1530
purchase in so removed a dwelling.
ROSALIND
I have been told so of many. But indeed an old
religious uncle of mine taught me to speak, who was
in his youth an inland man, one that knew courtship too
well, for there he fell in love. I have heard him read many lectures
1535
against it; and I thank God I am not a woman,
to be touched with so many giddy offences as he
hath generally taxed their whole sex withal.
ORLANDO
Can you remember any of the principal evils
that he laid to the charge of women?
1540
ROSALIND
There were none principal; they were all like
one another as halfpence are, every one fault seeming
monstrous till his fellow-fault came to match it.
ORLANDO
I prithee, recount some of them.
ROSALIND
No; I will not cast away my physic but on those
1545
that are sick. There is a man haunts the forest that abuses
our young plants with carving "Rosalind" on their
barks, hangs odes upon hawthorns and elegies on
brambles, all, forsooth, deifying the name of Rosalind.
If I could meet that fancy-monger, I would give him
1550
some good counsel, for he seems to have the quotidian
of love upon him.
ORLANDO
I am he that is so love-shaked. I pray you, tell
me your remedy.
ROSALIND
There is none of my uncle's marks upon you.
1555
He taught me how to know a man in love, in which
cage of rushes I am sure you are not prisoner.
ORLANDO
What were his marks?
ROSALIND
A lean cheek, which you have not; a blue eye
and sunken, which you have not; an unquestionable spirit,
1560
which you have not; a beard neglected, which you
have not -- but I pardon you for that, for simply your having
in beard is a younger brother's revenue. Then your
hose should be ungartered, your bonnet unbanded, your
sleeve unbuttoned, your shoe untied, and everything
1565
about you demonstrating a careless desolation. But you
are no such man. You are rather point-device in your accoutrements,
as loving yourself, than seeming the lover
of any other.
ORLANDO
Fair youth, I would I could make thee believe I love.
1570
ROSALIND
Me believe it? You may as soon make her that
you love believe it -- which, I warrant, she is apter to do
than to confess she does. That is one of the points in the
which women still give the lie to their consciences. But,
in good sooth, are you he that hangs the verses on the
1575
trees wherein Rosalind is so admired?
ORLANDO
I swear to thee, youth, by the white hand of
Rosalind, I am that he, that unfortunate he.
ROSALIND
But are you so much in love as your rhymes speak?
ORLANDO
Neither rhyme nor reason can express how much.
1580
ROSALIND
Love is merely a madness, and, I tell you, deserves
as well a dark house and a whip as madmen do;
and the reason why they are not so punished and cured is
that the lunacy is so ordinary that the whippers are in
love too. Yet I profess curing it by counsel.
1585
ORLANDO
Did you ever cure any so?
ROSALIND
Yes, one, and in this manner. He was to imagine
me his love, his mistress, and I set him every day
to woo me. At which time would I, being but a moonish
youth, grieve, be effeminate, changeable, longing and
1590
liking, proud, fantastical, apish, shallow, inconstant, full
of tears, full of smiles; for every passion something and
for no passion truly anything, as boys and women are
for the most part cattle of this color; would now like
him, now loathe him; then entertain him, then forswear him;
1595
now weep for him, then spit at him; that I drave
my suitor from his mad humor of love to a living
humor of madness, which was to forswear the full stream of the world
and to live in a nook, merely monastic. And thus I cured
him; and this way will I take upon me to wash your liver
1600
as clean as a sound sheep's heart, that there shall not
be one spot of love in't.
ORLANDO
I would not be cured, youth.
ROSALIND
I would cure you, if you would but call me Rosalind,
and come every day to my cote and woo me.
1605
ORLANDO
Now, by the faith of my love, I will. Tell me
where it is.
ROSALIND
Go with me to it, and I'll show it you; and by
the way you shall tell me where in the forest you live.
Will you go?
1610
ORLANDO
With all my heart, good youth.
ROSALIND
Nay, you must call me Rosalind. -- Come, sister,
will you go?
[3.3]
Enter [Touchstone the] Clown, Audrey, and Jaques [behind].
1615
TOUCHSTONE
Come apace, good Audrey. I will fetch up your
goats, Audrey. And how, Audrey, am I the man yet?
Doth my simple feature content you?
AUDREY
Your features! Lord warrant us, what features?
TOUCHSTONE
I am here with thee and thy goats, as the most
1620
capricious poet, honest Ovid, was among the Goths.
JAQUES
[Aside] Oh, knowledge ill-inhabited, worse than
Jove in a thatched house!
TOUCHSTONE
When a man's verses cannot be understood, nor
a man's good wit seconded with the forward child, understanding,
1625
it strikes a man more dead than a great reckoning
in a little room. Truly, I would the gods had
made thee poetical.
AUDREY
I do not know what "poetical" is. Is it honest in
deed and word? Is it a true thing?
1630
TOUCHSTONE
No, truly; for the truest poetry is the most feigning,
and lovers are given to poetry, and what they
swear in poetry it may be said as lovers they do feign.
AUDREY
Do you wish, then, that the gods had made me
poetical?
1635
TOUCHSTONE
I do, truly; for thou swear'st to me thou art honest.
Now, if thou wert a poet, I might have some hope
thou didst feign.
AUDREY
Would you not have me honest?
TOUCHSTONE
No, truly, unless thou wert hard-favored; for
1640
honesty coupled to beauty is to have honey a sauce to
sugar.
JAQUES
[Aside] A material fool!
AUDREY
Well, I am not fair, and therefore I pray the
gods make me honest.
1645
TOUCHSTONE
Truly, and to cast away honesty upon a foul
slut were to put good meat into an unclean dish.
AUDREY
I am not a slut, though I thank the gods I
am foul.
TOUCHSTONE
Well, praised be the gods for thy foulness! Sluttishness
1650
may come hereafter. But be it as it may be,
I will marry thee; and to that end I have been with Sir
Oliver Mar-text, the vicar of the next village, who hath
promised to meet me in this place of the forest, and to
couple us.
1655
JAQUES
[Aside] I would fain see this meeting.
AUDREY
Well, the gods give us joy!
TOUCHSTONE
Amen. A man may, if he were of a fearful heart,
stagger in this attempt; for here we have no temple
but the wood, no assembly but horn-beasts. But
1660
what though? Courage! As horns are odious, they are necessary.
It is said, "Many a man knows no end of his goods."
Right! Many a man has good horns and knows no end of them.
Well, that is the dowry of his wife; 'tis none
of his own getting. Horns? Even so. Poor men alone?
1665
No, no, the noblest deer hath them as huge as the rascal.
Is the single man therefore blessed? No. As a walled
town is more worthier than a village, so is the forehead
of a married man more honorable than the bare
brow of a bachelor; and by how much defense is better
1670
than no skill, by so much is a horn more precious
than to want.
Enter Sir Oliver Mar-text.
Here comes Sir Oliver. -- Sir Oliver Mar-text, you are
well met. Will you dispatch us here under this tree, or
1675
shall we go with you to your chapel?
SIR OLIVER MAR-TEXT
Is there none here to give the woman?
TOUCHSTONE
I will not take her on gift of any man.
SIR OLIVER MAR-TEXT
Truly, she must be given, or the marriage is not
lawful.
1680
JAQUES
[Coming forward] Proceed, proceed. I'll give her.
TOUCHSTONE
Good even, good Master What-ye-call't. How do you,
sir? You are very well met. God 'ild you for your last company.
I am very glad to see you. Even a toy in hand
here, sir. -- Nay, pray be covered.
1685
JAQUES
Will you be married, motley?
TOUCHSTONE
As the ox hath his bow, sir, the horse his curb,
and the falcon her bells, so man hath his desires; and as
pigeons bill, so wedlock would be nibbling.
JAQUES
And will you, being a man of your breeding, be
1690
married under a bush like a beggar? Get you to church,
and have a good priest that can tell you what marriage is.
This fellow will but join you together as they
join wainscot; then one of you will prove a shrunk panel,
and, like green timber warp, warp.
1695
TOUCHSTONE
I am not in the mind but I were better to be
married of him than of another; for he is not like to marry
me well; and not being well married, it will be a good
excuse for me hereafter to leave my wife.
JAQUES
Go thou with me,
1700
and let me counsel thee.
TOUCHSTONE
Come, sweet Audrey.
We must be married or we must live in bawdry. --
Farewell, good Master Oliver. Not
_"O sweet Oliver,
_O brave
Oliver,
Leave me not behind thee,"
but
_"Wind away,
_Begone,
1705
I say,
I will not to wedding with thee."
SIR OLIVER MAR-TEXT
'Tis no matter. Ne'er a fantastical knave of them
all shall flout me out of my calling.
[3.4]
Enter Rosalind and Celia.
1710
ROSALIND
Never talk to me. I will weep.
CELIA
Do, I prithee, but yet have the grace to consider
that tears do not become a man.
ROSALIND
But have I not cause to weep?
CELIA
As good cause as one would desire;
1715
therefore weep.
ROSALIND
His very hair
is of the dissembling color.
CELIA
Something browner than Judas's.
Marry, his kisses are Judas's own children.
1720
ROSALIND
I'faith, his hair is of a good color.
CELIA
An excellent color.
Your chestnut was ever the only color.
ROSALIND
And his kissing is as full of sanctity
as the touch of holy bread.
1725
CELIA
He hath bought a pair of cast lips of Diana. A
nun of winter's sisterhood kisses not more religiously;
the very ice of chastity is in them.
ROSALIND
But why did he swear he would come this
morning, and comes not?
1730
CELIA
Nay, certainly, there is no truth in him.
ROSALIND
Do you think so?
CELIA
Yes. I think he is not a pickpurse nor a horse-stealer,
but for his verity in love, I do think him as
concave as a covered goblet or a worm-eaten nut.
1735
ROSALIND
Not true in love?
CELIA
Yes, when he is in, but I think he is not in.
ROSALIND
You have heard him swear downright he was.
CELIA
"Was" is not "is." Besides, the oath of a lover is no
stronger than the word of a tapster; they are both the
1740
confirmer of false reckonings. He attends here in the forest
on the Duke, your father.
ROSALIND
I met the Duke yesterday, and had much question
with him. He asked me of what parentage I was. I
told him, of as good as he; so he laughed and let me go.
1745
But what talk we of fathers, when there is such a man
as Orlando?
CELIA
Oh, that's a brave man! He writes brave verses,
speaks brave words, swears brave oaths, and breaks
them bravely, quite traverse, athwart the heart of his lover,
1750
as a puny tilter, that spurs his horse but on one side,
breaks his staff like a noble goose. But all's brave that
youth mounts and folly guides. Who comes here?
Enter Corin.
CORIN
Mistress and master, you have oft inquired
1755
After the shepherd that complained of love,
Who you saw sitting by me on the turf,
Praising the proud disdainful shepherdess
| That was his mistress. | |
| CELIA | |
| Well, and what of him? | |
1760
CORIN
If you will see a pageant truly played
Between the pale complexion of true love
And the red glow of scorn and proud disdain,
Go hence a little, and I shall conduct you,
| If you will mark it. | |
| 1765
ROSALIND | |
| Oh, come, let us remove! | |
The sight of lovers feedeth those in love.
Bring us to this sight, and you shall say
I'll prove a busy actor in their play.
[3.5]
1770
Enter Silvius and Phoebe.
SILVIUS
Sweet Phoebe, do not scorn me, do not, Phoebe!
Say that you love me not, but say not so
In bitterness. The common executioner,
Whose heart th'accustomed sight of death makes hard,
1775
Falls not the ax upon the humbled neck
But first begs pardon. Will you sterner be
Than he that dies and lives by bloody drops?
Enter Rosalind, Celia, and Corin, [at a distance].
PHOEBE
I would not be thy executioner;
1780
I fly thee, for I would not injure thee.
Thou tell'st me there is murder in mine eye.
'Tis pretty, sure, and very probable,
That eyes, that are the frail'st and softest things,
Who shut their coward gates on atomies,
1785
Should be called tyrants, butchers, murderers!
Now I do frown on thee with all my heart,
And if mine eyes can wound, now let them kill thee.
Now counterfeit to swoon; why, now fall down,
Or, if thou canst not, oh, for shame, for shame,
1790
Lie not, to say mine eyes are murderers!
Now show the wound mine eye hath made in thee.
Scratch thee but with a pin, and there remains
Some scar of it; lean upon a rush,
The cicatrice and capable impressure
1795
Thy palm some moment keeps; but now mine eyes,
Which I have darted at thee, hurt thee not.
Nor, I am sure, there is no force in eyes
That can do hurt.
SILVIUS
O dear Phoebe,
1800
If ever -- as that "ever" may be near --
You meet in some fresh cheek the power of fancy,
Then shall you know the wounds invisible
| That love's keen arrows make. | |
| PHOEBE | |
| But till that time | |
1805
Come not thou near me; and when that time comes,
Afflict me with thy mocks; pity me not,
As till that time I shall not pity thee.
ROSALIND
[Advancing] And why, I pray you? Who might be your mother,
That you insult, exult, and all at once,
1810
Over the wretched? What though you have no beauty --
As, by my faith, I see no more in you
Than without candle may go dark to bed --
Must you be therefore proud and pitiless? [Phoebe gazes intently at Rosalind.]
Why, what means this? Why do you look on me?
1815
I see no more in you than in the ordinary
Of nature's sale-work. -- 'Od's my little life,
I think she means to tangle my eyes too! --
No faith, proud mistress, hope not after it.
'Tis not your inky brows, your black silk hair,
1820
Your bugle eyeballs, nor your cheek of cream
That can entame my spirits to your worship. [To Silvius]
You foolish shepherd, wherefore do you follow her,
Like foggy south, puffing with wind and rain?
You are a thousand times a properer man
1825
Than she a woman. 'Tis such fools as you
That makes the world full of ill-favored children.
'Tis not her glass, but you, that flatters her,
And out of you she sees herself more proper
Than any of her lineaments can show her. [To Phoebe]
1830
But, mistress, know yourself. Down on your knees,
And thank heaven, fasting, for a good man's love!
For I must tell you friendly in your ear:
Sell when you can; you are not for all markets.
Cry the man mercy, love him, take his offer;
1835
Foul is most foul, being foul to be a scoffer. [To Silvius]
So take her to thee, shepherd. Fare you well.
PHOEBE
Sweet youth, I pray you chide a year together.
I had rather hear you chide than this man woo.
ROSALIND
[To Phoebe] He's fallen in love with your foulness, [To Silvius]and she'll
1840
fall in love with my anger. If it be so, as fast
as she answers thee with frowning looks, I'll sauce
her with bitter words. [To Phoebe]Why look you so upon me?
PHOEBE
For no ill will I bear you.
ROSALIND
I pray you, do not fall in love with me,
1845
For I am falser than vows made in wine.
Besides, I like you not. [To Silvius] If you will know my house,
'Tis at the tuft of olives here hard by. --
Will you go, sister? -- Shepherd, ply her hard. --
Come, sister. -- Shepherdess, look on him better,
1850
And be not proud. Though all the world could see,
None could be so abused in sight as he. --
Come, to our flock.
PHOEBE
Dead shepherd, now I find thy saw of might:
"Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?"
| 1855
SILVIUS | |
| Sweet Phoebe -- | |
| PHOEBE | |
| Ha! What say'st thou, Silvius? | |
SILVIUS
Sweet Phoebe, pity me.
PHOEBE
Why, I am sorry for thee, gentle Silvius.
SILVIUS
Wherever sorrow is, relief would be.
1860
If you do sorrow at my grief in love,
By giving love, your sorrow and my grief
Were both extermined.
PHEBE
Thou hast my love. Is not that neighborly?
| SILVIUS | |
| I would have you. | |
| 1865
PHOEBE | |
| Why, that were covetousness. | |
Silvius, the time was that I hated thee,
And yet it is not that I bear thee love;
But since that thou canst talk of love so well,
Thy company, which erst was irksome to me,
1870
I will endure; and I'll employ thee too.
But do not look for further recompense
Than thine own gladness that thou art employed.
SILVIUS
So holy and so perfect is my love,
And I in such a poverty of grace,
1875
That I shall think it a most plenteous crop
To glean the broken ears after the man
That the main harvest reaps. Loose now and then
A scattered smile, and that I'll live upon.
PHOEBE
Know'st thou the youth that spoke to me erewhile?
1880
SILVIUS
Not very well, but I have met him oft,
And he hath bought the cottage and the bounds
That the old carlot once was master of.
PHOEBE
Think not I love him, though I ask for him.
'Tis but a peevish boy; yet he talks well.
1885
But what care I for words? Yet words do well
When he that speaks them pleases those that hear.
It is a pretty youth -- not very pretty;
But, sure, he's proud; and yet his pride becomes him.
He'll make a proper man. The best thing in him
1890
Is his complexion; and faster than his tongue
Did make offense, his eye did heal it up.
He is not very tall; yet for his years he's tall;
His leg is but so-so; and yet 'tis well.
There was a pretty redness in his lip,
1895
A little riper and more lusty red
Than that mixed in his cheek; 'twas just the difference
Betwixt the constant red and mingled damask.
There be some women, Silvius, had they marked him
In parcels as I did, would have gone near
1900
To fall in love with him; but, for my part,
I love him not, nor hate him not; and yet
I have more cause to hate him than to love him.
For what had he to do to chide at me?
He said mine eyes were black, and my hair black,
1905
And, now I am remembered, scorned at me.
I marvel why I answered not again.
But that's all one; omittance is no quittance.
I'll write to him a very taunting letter,
And thou shalt bear it. Wilt thou, Silvius?
| 1910
SILVIUS | |
| Phoebe, with all my heart. | |
| PHOEBE | |
| I'll write it straight; | |
The matter's in my head and in my heart.
I will be bitter with him and passing short.
Go with me, Silvius.
1915
[4.1]
Enter Rosalind, Celia, and Jaques.
JAQUES
I prithee, pretty youth, let me be better acquainted
with thee.
ROSALIND
They say you are a melancholy fellow.
1920
JAQUES
I am so. I do love it better than laughing.
ROSALIND
Those that are in extremity of either are abominable
fellows, and betray themselves to every modern
censure worse than drunkards.
JAQUES
Why, 'tis good to be sad and say nothing.
1925
ROSALIND
Why then, 'tis good to be a post.
JAQUES
I have neither the scholar's melancholy, which
is emulation, nor the musician's, which is fantastical,
nor the courtier's, which is proud, nor the soldier's,
which is ambitious, nor the lawyer's, which is politic,
1930
nor the lady's, which is nice, nor the lover's, which
is all these; but it is a melancholy of mine own, compounded
of many simples, extracted from many objects,
and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in
which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous
1935
sadness.
ROSALIND
A traveler! By my faith, you have great reason
to be sad. I fear you have sold your own lands
to see other men's. Then to have seen much and to have
nothing is to have rich eyes and poor hands.
1940
JAQUES
Yes, I have gained my experience.
Enter Orlando.
ROSALIND
And your experience makes you sad. I had rather
have a fool to make me merry than experience to
make me sad -- and to travel for it too!
1945
ORLANDO
Good day, and happiness, dear Rosalind!
JAQUES
Nay, then, God b'wi' you, an you talk in blank
verse.
ROSALIND
Farewell, Monsieur Traveler. Look you lisp
and wear strange suits, disable all the benefits
1950
of your own country, be out of love with
your nativity, and almost chide God for making you that
countenance you are, or I will scarce think you have
swam in a gondola. [Exit Jaques.] Why, how now, Orlando, where
have you been all this while? You a lover? An you
1955
serve me such another trick, never come in my sight
more.
ORLANDO
My fair Rosalind, I come within an hour of my
promise.
ROSALIND
Break an hour's promise in love? He that
1960
will divide a minute into a thousand parts and break
but a part of the thousand part of a minute in the affairs
of love, it may be said of him that Cupid hath clapped
him o'th' shoulder, but I'll warrant him heart-whole.
ORLANDO
Pardon me, dear Rosalind.
1965
ROSALIND
Nay, an you be so tardy, come no more in my
sight. I had as lief be wooed of a snail.
ORLANDO
Of a snail?
ROSALIND
Ay, of a snail; for though he comes slowly, he
carries his house on his head -- a better jointure, I think,
1970
than you make a woman. Besides, he brings his destiny
with him.
ORLANDO
What's that?
ROSALIND
Why, horns, which such as you are fain to be beholding
to your wives for. But he comes armed in his fortune,
1975
and prevents the slander of his wife.
ORLANDO
Virtue is no horn-maker; and my Rosalind is
virtuous.
ROSALIND
And I am your Rosalind.
CELIA
It pleases him to call you so; but he hath a Rosalind
1980
of a better leer than you.
ROSALIND
Come, woo me, woo me, for now I am in a
holiday humor, and like enough to consent. What
would you say to me now, an I were your very very
Rosalind?
1985
ORLANDO
I would kiss before I spoke.
ROSALIND
Nay, you were better speak first, and when you
were graveled for lack of matter, you might take occasion
to kiss. Very good orators, when they are out,
they will spit; and for lovers lacking -- God warn us! --
1990
matter, the cleanliest shift is to kiss.
ORLANDO
How if the kiss be denied?
ROSALIND
Then she puts you to entreaty, and there begins
new matter.
ORLANDO
Who could be out, being before his beloved
1995
mistress?
ROSALIND
Marry, that should you, if I were your mistress,
or I should think my honesty ranker than my wit.
ORLANDO
What, of my suit?
ROSALIND
Not out of your apparel, and yet out of your
2000
suit.
Am not I your Rosalind?
ORLANDO
I take some joy to say you are, because I would
be talking of her.
ROSALIND
Well, in her person, I say I will not have you.
2005
ORLANDO
Then, in mine own person, I die.
ROSALIND
No, faith, die by attorney. The poor world is
almost six thousand years old, and in all this time there
was not any man died in his own person, videlicet, in
a love-cause. Troilus had his brains dashed out with a
2010
Grecian club, yet he did what he could to die before,
and he is one of the patterns of love. Leander, he would
have lived many a fair year though Hero had turned
nun, if it had not been for a hot midsummer night; for,
good youth, he went but forth to wash him in the Hellespont,
2015
and, being taken with the cramp, was drowned;
and the foolish chroniclers of that age found it was --
Hero of Sestos. But these are all lies. Men have died
from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not
for love.
2020
ORLANDO
I would not have my right Rosalind of this mind,
for, I protest, her frown might kill me.
ROSALIND
By this hand, it will not kill a fly. But come,
now I will be your Rosalind in a more coming-on disposition;
and ask me what you will, I will grant it.
2025
ORLANDO
Then love me, Rosalind.
ROSALIND
Yes, faith, will I, Fridays and Saturdays and all.
ORLANDO
And wilt thou have me?
ROSALIND
Ay, and twenty such.
ORLANDO
What sayest thou?
2030
ROSALIND
Are you not good?
ORLANDO
I hope so.
ROSALIND
Why then, can one desire too much of a
good thing? -- Come, sister, you shall be the priest,
and marry us. -- Give me your hand, Orlando. -- What do you
2035
say, sister?
ORLANDO
Pray thee, marry us.
CELIA
I cannot say the words.
ROSALIND
You must begin "Will you, Orlando --"
CELIA
Go to. -- Will you, Orlando, have to wife this
2040
Rosalind?
ORLANDO
I will.
ROSALIND
Ay, but when?
ORLANDO
Why, now, as fast as she can marry us.
ROSALIND
Then you must say, "I take thee, Rosalind, for
2045
wife."
ORLANDO
I take thee, Rosalind, for wife.
ROSALIND
I might ask you for your commission;
but I do take thee, Orlando, for my husband. There's a
girl goes before the priest; and, certainly, a woman's
2050
thought runs before her actions.
ORLANDO
So do all thoughts; they are winged.
ROSALIND
Now tell me how long you would have her, after
you have possessed her.
ORLANDO
For ever and a day.
2055
ROSALIND
Say "a day" without the "ever." No, no, Orlando, men
are April when they woo, December when they wed;
maids are May when they are maids, but the sky changes
when they are wives. I will be more jealous of
thee than a Barbary cock-pigeon over his hen, more clamorous
2060
than a parrot against rain, more newfangled
than an ape, more giddy in my desires than a monkey.
I will weep for nothing, like Diana in the fountain,
and I will do that when you are disposed to be merry;
I will laugh like a hyena, and that when thou art inclined
2065
to sleep.
ORLANDO
But will my Rosalind do so?
ROSALIND
By my life, she will do as I do.
ORLANDO
Oh, but she is wise.
ROSALIND
Or else she could not have the wit to do this.
2070
The wiser, the waywarder. Make the doors upon a woman's
wit, and it will out at the casement; shut that, and
'twill out at the key-hole; stop that, 'twill fly with the
smoke out at the chimney.
ORLANDO
A man that had a wife with such a wit, he might
2075
say, "Wit, whither wilt?'"
ROSALIND
Nay, you might keep that check for it till you
met your wife's wit going to your neighbor's bed.
ORLANDO
And what wit could wit have to excuse that?
ROSALIND
Marry, to say she came to seek you there. You
2080
shall never take her without her answer, unless you take her
without her tongue. Oh, that woman that cannot
make her fault her husband's occasion, let her never nurse
her child herself, for she will breed it like a fool!
ORLANDO
For these two hours, Rosalind, I will leave thee.
2085
ROSALIND
Alas, dear love, I cannot lack thee two hours!
ORLANDO
I must attend the Duke at dinner. By two o'clock
I will be with thee again.
ROSALIND
Ay, go your ways, go your ways. I knew what
you would prove; my friends told me as much, and I
2090
thought no less. That flattering tongue of yours won
me. 'Tis but one cast away, and so, come death! Two o'clock
is your hour?
ORLANDO
Ay, sweet Rosalind.
ROSALIND
By my troth, and in good earnest, and
2095
so God mend me, and by all pretty oaths that are not dangerous,
if you break one jot of your promise, or come one
minute behind your hour, I will think you the most
pathetical break-promise, and the most hollow lover,
and the most unworthy of her you call Rosalind, that
2100
may be chosen out of the gross band of the unfaithful.
Therefore beware my censure, and keep your
promise.
ORLANDO
With no less religion than if thou wert indeed
my Rosalind. So, adieu.
2105
ROSALIND
Well, Time is the old justice that examines all
such offenders, and let Time try. Adieu.
CELIA
You have simply misused our sex in your love-prate.
We must have your doublet and hose plucked over
your head, and show the world what the bird hath done
2110
to her own nest.
ROSALIND
Oh, coz, coz, coz, my pretty little coz, that thou
didst know how many fathom deep I am in love! But
it cannot be sounded; my affection hath an unknown
bottom, like the Bay of Portugal.
2115
CELIA
Or rather, bottomless, that as fast as you pour
affection in, it runs out.
ROSALIND
No, that same wicked bastard of Venus, that was
begot of thought, conceived of spleen, and born of
madness, that blind rascally boy that abuses everyone's
2120
eyes because his own are out, let him be judge
how deep I am in love. I'll tell thee, Aliena, I cannot be
out of the sight of Orlando. I'll go find a shadow, and
sigh till he come.
CELIA
And I'll sleep.
2125
[4.2]
Enter Jaques and Lords, [outfitted as] foresters.
JAQUES
Which is he that killed the deer?
FIRST LORD
Sir, it was I.
JAQUES
Let's present him to the Duke, like a Roman conqueror;
2130
and it would do well to set the deer's
horns upon his head for a branch of victory. Have you
no song, forester, for this purpose?
SECOND LORD
Yes, sir.
JAQUES
Sing it. 'Tis no matter how it be in tune, so it
2135
make noise enough.
Music.
SONG.
SECOND LORD
[Sings] What shall he have that killed the deer?
His leather skin and horns to wear.
_Then sing him home. (The rest shall bear this burden:)
2140
Take thou no scorn to wear the horn;
It was a crest ere thou wast born.
_Thy father's father wore it;
_And thy father bore it. (The rest shall bear this burden:)
The horn, the horn, the lusty horn,
2145
Is not a thing to laugh to scorn.
[4.3]
Enter Rosalind and Celia.
ROSALIND
How say you now? Is it not past two o'clock?
And here much Orlando!
2150
CELIA
I warrant you, with pure love and troubled brain
Enter Silvius [with a letter].
he hath ta'en his bow and arrows and is gone forth --
to sleep. Look who comes here.
SILVIUS
[To Rosalind] My errand is to you, fair youth.
2155
My gentle Phoebe did bid me give you this. [He gives the letter.]
I know not the contents, but, as I guess,
By the stern brow and waspish action
Which she did use as she was writing of it,
It bears an angry tenor. Pardon me,
2160
I am but as a guiltless messenger.
ROSALIND
[Examining the letter] Patience herself would startle at this letter
And play the swaggerer. Bear this, bear all!
She says I am not fair, that I lack manners;
She calls me proud, and that she could not love me
2165
Were man as rare as Phoenix. 'Od's my will!
Her love is not the hare that I do hunt.
Why writes she so to me? Well, shepherd, well,
This is a letter of your own device.
SILVIUS
No, I protest, I know not the contents.
| 2170
Phoebe did write it. |
|
| ROSALIND | |
| Come, come, you are a fool, | |
And turned into the extremity of love.
I saw her hand; she has a leathern hand,
A freestone-colored hand. I verily did think
2175
That her old gloves were on, but 'twas her hands;
She has a huswife's hand -- but that's no matter.
I say she never did invent this letter;
This is a man's invention, and his hand.
SILVIUS
Sure it is hers.
2180
ROSALIND
Why, 'tis a boisterous and a cruel style,
A style for challengers. Why, she defies me,
Like Turk to Christian. Women's gentle brain
Could not drop forth such giant-rude invention,
Such Ethiop words, blacker in their effect
2185
Than in their countenance. Will you hear the letter?
SILVIUS
So please you, for I never heard it yet;
Yet heard too much of Phoebe's cruelty.
ROSALIND
She Phoebes me. Mark how the tyrant writes. (Read)
"Art thou god to shepherd turned,
2190
That a maiden's heart hath burned?"
Can a woman rail thus?
SILVIUS
Call you this railing?
ROSALIND
(Read)
"Why, thy godhead laid apart,
Warr'st thou with a woman's heart?"
2195
Did you ever hear such railing?
"Whiles the eye of man did woo me,
That could do no vengeance to me."
Meaning me a beast.
"If the scorn of your bright eyne
2200
Have power to raise such love in mine,
Alack, in me what strange effect
Would they work in mild aspect!
Whiles you chid me, I did love;
How then might your prayers move!
2205
He that brings this love to thee
Little knows this love in me;
And by him seal up thy mind,
Whether that thy youth and kind
Will the faithful offer take
2210
Of me and all that I can make;
Or else by him my love deny,
And then I'll study how to die."
SILVIUS
Call you this chiding?
CELIA
Alas, poor shepherd!
2215
ROSALIND
Do you pity him? No, he deserves no pity.
Wilt thou love such a woman? What, to make thee an instrument,
and play false strains upon thee! Not to be endured!
Well, go your way to her, for I see love hath
made thee a tame snake, and say this to her: that if she
2220
love me, I charge her to love thee; if she will not, I will
never have her unless thou entreat for her. If you be a
true lover, hence, and not a word; for here comes more
company.
Enter Oliver.
2225
OLIVER
Good morrow, fair ones. Pray you, if you know,
Where in the purlieus of this forest stands
A sheepcote fenced about with olive trees?
CELIA
West of this place, down in the neighbor bottom,
The rank of osiers by the murmuring stream
2230
Left on your right hand brings you to the place.
But at this hour the house doth keep itself;
There's none within.
OLIVER
If that an eye may profit by a tongue,
Then should I know you by description,
2235
Such garments, and such years: "The boy is fair,
Of female favor, and bestows himself
Like a ripe sister; the woman, low
And browner than her brother." Are not you
The owner of the house I did inquire for?
2240
CELIA
It is no boast, being asked, to say we are.
OLIVER
Orlando doth commend him to you both,
And to that youth he calls his Rosalind
He sends this bloody napkin. Are you he?
[He produces a bloody handkerchief.]
ROSALIND
I am. What must we understand by this?
2245
OLIVER
Some of my shame, if you will know of me
What man I am, and how, and why, and where
| This handkerchief was stained. | |
| CELIA | |
| I pray you, tell it. | |
OLIVER
When last the young Orlando parted from you,
2250
He left a promise to return again
Within an hour; and, pacing through the forest,
Chewing the food of sweet and bitter fancy,
Lo, what befell! He threw his eye aside,
And mark what object did present itself.
2255
Under an old oak, whose boughs were mossed with age
And high top bald with dry antiquity,
A wretched ragged man, o'ergrown with hair,
Lay sleeping on his back. About his neck
A green and gilded snake had wreathed itself,
2260
Who with her head, nimble in threats, approached
The opening of his mouth; but suddenly,
Seeing Orlando, it unlinked itself
And with indented glides did slip away
Into a bush, under which bush's shade
2265
A lioness, with udders all drawn dry,
Lay couching, head on ground, with catlike watch,
When that the sleeping man should stir; for 'tis
The royal disposition of that beast
To prey on nothing that doth seem as dead.
2270
This seen, Orlando did approach the man,
And found it was his brother, his elder brother.
CELIA
Oh, I have heard him speak of that same brother,
And he did render him the most unnatural
| That lived amongst men. | |
| 2275
OLIVER | |
| And well he might so do, | |
For well I know he was unnatural.
ROSALIND
But to Orlando: did he leave him there,
Food to the sucked and hungry lioness?
OLIVER
Twice did he turn his back, and purposed so;
2280
But kindness, nobler ever than revenge,
And nature, stronger than his just occasion,
Made him give battle to the lioness,
Who quickly fell before him; in which hurtling
From miserable slumber I awaked.
| 2285
CELIA | |
| Are you his brother? | |
| ROSALIND | |
| Was't you he rescued? | |
CELIA
Was't you that did so oft contrive to kill him?
OLIVER
'Twas I; but 'tis not I. I do not shame
To tell you what I was, since my conversion
2290
So sweetly tastes, being the thing I am.
| ROSALIND | |
| But for the bloody napkin? | |
| OLIVER | |
| By and by. | |
When from the first to last, betwixt us two,
Tears our recountments had most kindly bathed,
2295
As how I came into that desert place,
In brief, he led me to the gentle Duke,
Who gave me fresh array and entertainment,
Committing me unto my brother's love;
Who led me instantly unto his cave,
2300
There stripped himself, and here upon his arm
The lioness had torn some flesh away,
Which all this while had bled; and now he fainted,
And cried, in fainting, upon Rosalind.
Brief, I recovered him, bound up his wound,
2305
And after some small space, being strong at heart,
He sent me hither, stranger as I am,
To tell this story, that you might excuse
His broken promise, and to give this napkin,
Dyed in this blood, unto the shepherd youth
2310
That he in sport doth call his Rosalind.
[Rosalind swoons.]
CELIA
Why, how now, Ganymede, sweet Ganymede!
OLIVER
Many will swoon when they do look on blood.
CELIA
There is more in it. -- Cousin Ganymede!
OLIVER
Look, he recovers.
2315
ROSALIND
I would I were at home.
CELIA
We'll lead you thither. --
I pray you, will you take him by the arm?
[They help Rosalind up.]
OLIVER
Be of good cheer, youth. You a man?
You lack a man's heart.
2320
ROSALIND
I do so, I confess it.
Ah, sirrah, a body would think this was well counterfeited.
I pray you tell your brother how well I counterfeited.
Heigh-ho!
OLIVER
This was not counterfeit. There is too great testimony
2325
in your complexion that it was a passion of earnest.
ROSALIND
Counterfeit, I assure you.
OLIVER
Well then, take a good heart and counterfeit to
be a man.
2330
ROSALIND
So I do; but, i'faith, I should have been a
woman by right.
CELIA
Come, you look paler and paler. Pray you, draw
homewards. -- Good sir, go with us.
OLIVER
That will I, for I must bear answer back
2335
How you excuse my brother, Rosalind.
ROSALIND
I shall devise something. But, I pray you, commend
my counterfeiting to him. Will you go?
[5.1]
2340
Enter Touchstone and Audrey.
TOUCHSTONE
We shall find a time, Audrey. Patience, gentle
Audrey.
AUDREY
Faith, the priest was good enough, for all
the old gentleman's saying.
2345
TOUCHSTONE
A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile
Mar-text. But Audrey, there is a youth here in the
forest lays claim to you.
AUDREY
Ay, I know who 'tis. He hath no interest in me
in the world. Here comes the man you mean.
2350
Enter William.
TOUCHSTONE
It is meat and drink to me to see a clown. By
my troth, we that have good wits have much to answer
for. We shall be flouting; we cannot hold.
WILLIAM
Good ev'n, Audrey.
2355
AUDREY
God ye good ev'n, William.
WILLIAM
And good ev'n to you, sir.
[He removes his hat.]
TOUCHSTONE
Good ev'n, gentle friend. Cover thy head, cover
thy head. Nay, prithee be covered. How old are you,
friend?
2360
WILLIAM
Five-and-twenty, sir.
TOUCHSTONE
A ripe age. Is thy name William?
WILLIAM
William, sir.
TOUCHSTONE
A fair name. Wast born i'th'forest here?
WILLIAM
Ay, sir, I thank God.
2365
TOUCHSTONE
"Thank God" -- a good answer.
Art rich?
WILLIAM
Faith, sir, so-so.
TOUCHSTONE
"So-so" is good, very good, very excellent good;
and yet it is not; it is but so-so.
2370
Art thou wise?
WILLIAM
Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.
TOUCHSTONE
Why, thou say'st well. I do now remember a saying:
"The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man
knows himself to be a fool." The heathen philosopher,
2375
when he had a desire to eat a grape, would open
his lips when he put it into his mouth, meaning thereby
that grapes were made to eat and lips to open.
You do love this maid?
WILLIAM
I do, sir.
2380
TOUCHSTONE
Give me your hand. Art thou learned?
WILLIAM
No, sir.
TOUCHSTONE
Then learn this of me: to have is to have. For
it is a figure in rhetoric that drink, being poured out
of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth empty the
2385
other; for all your writers do consent that ipse is he.
Now, you are not ipse, for I am he.
WILLIAM
Which he, sir?
TOUCHSTONE
He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore,
you clown, abandon -- which is in the vulgar "leave" -- the
2390
society -- which in the boorish is "company" -- of this female --
which in the common is "woman"; which together
is: abandon the society of this female, or, clown,
thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding, diest; or,
to wit, I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into
2395
death, thy liberty into bondage. I will deal in poison
with thee, or in bastinado, or in steel; I will bandy
with thee in faction, I will o'er-run thee with policy; I
will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways. Therefore tremble
and depart.
2400
AUDREY
Do, good William.
WILLIAM
God rest you merry, sir.
Enter Corin.
CORIN
Our master and mistress seeks you. Come away,
away!
2405
TOUCHSTONE
Trip, Audrey, trip, Audrey! -- I attend,
I attend.
[5.2]
Enter Orlando and Oliver.
ORLANDO
Is't possible that on so little acquaintance you
2410
should like her? That, but seeing, you should love her?
And loving, woo? And, wooing, she should grant? And
will you persevere to enjoy her?
OLIVER
Neither call the giddiness of it in question, the
poverty of her, the small acquaintance, my sudden wooing,
2415
nor her sudden consenting; but say with me, "I love
Aliena"; say with her that she loves me; consent with both
that we may enjoy each other. It shall be to your
good; for my father's house and all the revenue that
was old Sir Rowland's will I estate upon you, and here
2420
live and die a shepherd.
Enter Rosalind.
ORLANDO
You have my consent.
Let your wedding be tomorrow. Thither will I
invite the Duke and all 's contented followers.
2425
Go you and prepare Aliena; for, look you,
here comes my Rosalind.
ROSALIND
God save you, brother.
OLIVER
And you, fair sister.
ROSALIND
O my dear Orlando, how it grieves me to see
2430
thee wear thy heart in a scarf!
ORLANDO
It is my arm.
ROSALIND
I thought thy heart had been wounded with
the claws of a lion.
ORLANDO
Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady.
2435
ROSALIND
Did your brother tell you how I counterfeited
to swoon when he showed me your handkerchief?
ORLANDO
Ay, and greater wonders than that.
ROSALIND
Oh, I know where you are. Nay, 'tis true. There
was never anything so sudden but the fight of two rams
2440
and Caesar's thrasonical brag of "I came, saw,
and overcame." For your brother and my sister no sooner met
but they looked; no sooner looked but they
loved; no sooner loved but they sighed; no sooner sighed
but they asked one another the reason; no sooner knew
2445
the reason but they sought the remedy; and in these
degrees have they made a pair of stairs to marriage,
which they will climb incontinent, or else be incontinent
before marriage. They are in the very wrath of
love, and they will together. Clubs cannot part
2450
them.
ORLANDO
They shall be married tomorrow; and I will
bid the Duke to the nuptial. But, oh, how bitter a thing
it is to look into happiness through another man's eyes!
By so much the more shall I tomorrow be at the height
2455
of heart-heaviness, by how much I shall think my brother
happy in having what he wishes for.
ROSALIND
Why, then, tomorrow I cannot serve your turn
for Rosalind?
ORLANDO
I can live no longer by thinking.
2460
ROSALIND
I will weary you, then, no longer with idle talking.
Know of me, then -- for now I speak to some purpose --
that I know you are a gentleman of good conceit.
I speak not this that you should bear a good opinion
of my knowledge, insomuch I say I know you are; neither
2465
do I labor for a greater esteem than may in some
little measure draw a belief from you to do yourself
good, and not to grace me. Believe then, if you please,
that I can do strange things. I have, since I was three
year old, conversed with a magician, most profound in
2470
his art and yet not damnable. If you do love Rosalind
so near the heart as your gesture cries it out, when your
brother marries Aliena shall you marry her. I know into
what straits of fortune she is driven, and it is not impossible
to me, if it appear not inconvenient to you,
2475
to set her before your eyes tomorrow, human as she is,
and without any danger.
ORLANDO
Speak'st thou in sober meanings?
ROSALIND
By my life, I do, which I tender dearly, though
I say I am a magician. Therefore put you in your best array,
2480
bid your friends; for if you will be married tomorrow,
you shall; and to Rosalind, if you will.
Enter Silvius and Phoebe.
Look, here comes a lover of mine, and a lover of hers.
PHOEBE
[To Rosalind] Youth, you have done me much ungentleness
2485
To show the letter that I writ to you.
ROSALIND
I care not if I have. It is my study
To seem despiteful and ungentle to you.
You are there followed by a faithful shepherd;
Look upon him, love him; he worships you.
2490
PHOEBE
[To Silvius] Good shepherd, tell this youth what 'tis to love.
SILVIUS
It is to be all made of sighs and tears;
And so am I for Phoebe.
PHOEBE
And I for Ganymede.
ORLANDO
And I for Rosalind.
2495
ROSALIND
And I for no woman.
SILVIUS
It is to be all made of faith and service;
And so am I for Phoebe.
PHOEBE
And I for Ganymede.
ORLANDO
And I for Rosalind.
2500
ROSALIND
And I for no woman.
SILVIUS
It is to be all made of fantasy,
All made of passion, and all made of wishes;
All adoration, duty, and observance,
All humbleness, all patience and impatience,
2505
All purity, all trial, all obedience;
And so am I for Phoebe.
PHOEBE
And so am I for Ganymede.
ORLANDO
And so am I for Rosalind.
ROSALIND
And so am I for no woman.
2510
PHOEBE
[To Rosalind] If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
SILVIUS
[To Phoebe] If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
ORLANDO
If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
ROSALIND
Why do you speak too, "Why blame you me
to love you?"
2515
ORLANDO
To her that is not here, nor doth not hear.
ROSALIND
Pray you, no more of this; 'tis like the howling
of Irish wolves against the moon. [To Silvius]I will help you
if I can.[To Phoebe]I would love you if I could. -- Tomorrow meet
me all together.[To Phoebe]I will marry you if ever I marry woman,
2520
and I'll be married tomorrow.[To Orlando]I will satisfy you
if ever I satisfied man, and you shall be married tomorrow.
[To Silvius]I will content you if what pleases you contents
you, and you shall be married tomorrow.[To Orlando]As you love
Rosalind, meet.[To Silvius]As you love Phoebe, meet. And as I love no
2525
woman, I'll meet. So, fare you well. I have left you
commands.
SILVIUS
I'll not fail, if I live.
PHOEBE
Nor I.
ORLANDO
Nor I.
2530
[5.3]
Enter [Touchstone the] Clown and Audrey.
TOUCHSTONE
Tomorrow is the joyful day, Audrey; tomorrow
will we be married.
AUDREY
I do desire it with all my heart; and I hope it is
2535
no dishonest desire to desire to be a woman of the world.
Here come two of the banished Duke's pages.
Enter two Pages.
FIRST PAGE
Well met, honest gentleman.
TOUCHSTONE
By my troth, well met. Come sit, sit, and a song.
[They sit.]
2540
SECOND PAGE
We are for you. Sit i'th' middle.
FIRST PAGE
Shall we clap into't roundly, without hawking,
or spitting, or saying we are hoarse, which are the only prologues to
a bad voice?
SECOND PAGE
I'faith, i'faith, and both in a tune, like two
2545
gypsies on a horse.
Song.
BOTH PAGES
It was a lover and his lass,
_With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
That o'er the green corn-field did pass
2550
_In spring time, the only pretty ring time,
When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding.
Sweet lovers love the spring.
Between the acres of the rye,
_With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
These pretty country folks would lie,
2560
_In spring time, the only pretty ring time,
When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding.
Sweet lovers love the spring.
This carol they began that hour,
_With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
How that a life was but a flower,
_In spring time, the only pretty ring time,
When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding.
Sweet lovers love the spring.
And therefore take the present time,
_With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
2555
For love is crownèd with the prime,
_In spring time, the only pretty ring time,
When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding.
Sweet lovers love the spring.
2565
TOUCHSTONE
Truly, young gentlemen, though there was no
great matter in the ditty, yet the note was very untuneable.
FIRST PAGE
You are deceived, sir; we kept time, we lost not
our time.
TOUCHSTONE
By my troth, yes; I count it but time lost to hear
2570
such a foolish song. God b'wi' you, and God mend your
voices. -- Come, Audrey.
[5.4]
Enter Duke Senior, Amiens, Jaques, Orlando,
Oliver, [and] Celia.
2575
DUKE SENIOR
Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy
Can do all this that he hath promised?
ORLANDO
I sometimes do believe and sometimes do not,
As those that fear they hope, and know they fear.
Enter Rosalind, Silvius, and Phoebe.
2580
ROSALIND
Patience once more, whiles our compact is urged. [To the Duke]
You say, if I bring in your Rosalind,
You will bestow her on Orlando here?
DUKE SENIOR
That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her.
ROSALIND
[To Orlando] And you say you will have her when I bring her?
2585
ORLANDO
That would I, were I of all kingdoms king.
ROSALIND
[To Phoebe] You say you'll marry me, if I be willing?
PHOEBE
That will I, should I die the hour after.
ROSALIND
But if you do refuse to marry me,
You'll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd?
2590
PHOEBE
So is the bargain.
ROSALIND
[To Silvius] You say that you'll have Phoebe if she will?
SILVIUS
Though to have her and death were both one
thing.
ROSALIND
I have promised to make all this matter even.
2595
Keep you your word, O Duke, to give your daughter;
You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter;
Keep you your word, Phoebe, that you'll marry me,
Or else, refusing me, to wed this shepherd;
Keep your word, Silvius, that you'll marry her
2600
If she refuse me; and from hence I go,
To make these doubts all even.
DUKE SENIOR
I do remember in this shepherd boy
Some lively touches of my daughter's favor.
ORLANDO
My lord, the first time that I ever saw him
2605
Methought he was a brother to your daughter.
But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born,
And hath been tutored in the rudiments
Of many desperate studies by his uncle,
Whom he reports to be a great magician,
2610
Enter [Touchstone the] Clown and Audrey.
Obscurèd in the circle of this forest.
JAQUES
There is, sure, another flood toward, and these
couples are coming to the ark. Here comes a pair
of very strange beasts, which in all tongues are called
2615
fools.
TOUCHSTONE
Salutation and greeting to you all!
JAQUES
[To the Duke] Good my lord, bid him welcome. This is the
motley-minded gentleman that I have so often met in
the forest. He hath been a courtier, he swears.
2620
TOUCHSTONE
If any man doubt that, let him put me to my
purgation. I have trod a measure; I have flattered a lady;
I have been politic with my friend, smooth with mine
enemy; I have undone three tailors; I have had four
quarrels, and like to have fought one.
2625
JAQUES
And how was that ta'en up?
TOUCHSTONE
Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon
the seventh cause.
JAQUES
How seventh cause? -- Good my lord, like this
fellow.
2630
DUKE SENIOR
I like him very well.
TOUCHSTONE
God 'ild you, sir, I desire you of the like. I press
in here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives,
to swear and to forswear, according as marriage binds
and blood breaks. A poor virgin, sir, an ill-favored thing,
2635
sir, but mine own; a poor humor of mine, sir, to take
that that no man else will. Rich honesty dwells like a miser,
sir, in a poor house, as your pearl in your foul
oyster.
DUKE SENIOR
By my faith, he is very swift and sententious.
2640
TOUCHSTONE
According to the fool's bolt, sir, and such
dulcet diseases.
JAQUES
But for the seventh cause. How did you find
the quarrel on the seventh cause?
TOUCHSTONE
Upon a lie seven times removed -- bear your
2645
body more seeming, Audrey -- as thus, sir. I did dislike the
cut of a certain courtier's beard. He sent me word, if I
said his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it
was. This is called the Retort Courteous. If I sent him
word again it was not well cut, he would send me word
2650
he cut it to please himself. This is called the Quip Modest.
If again it was not well cut, he disabled my judgment.
This is called the Reply Churlish. If again it was not well
cut, he would answer I spake not true. This is called the
Reproof Valiant. If again it was not well cut, he would
2655
say I lie. This is called the Countercheck Quarrelsome.
And so to the Lie Circumstantial and the Lie Direct.
JAQUES
And how oft did you say his beard was not well
cut?
TOUCHSTONE
I durst go no further than the Lie Circumstantial,
2660
nor he durst not give me the Lie Direct; and so we
measured swords and parted.
JAQUES
Can you nominate in order now the degrees of
the lie?
TOUCHSTONE
Oh, sir, we quarrel in print, by the book, as you
2665
have books for good manners. I will name you the degrees.
The first, the Retort Courteous; the second, the
Quip Modest; the third, the Reply Churlish; the fourth,
the Reproof Valiant; the fifth, the Countercheck Quarrelsome;
the sixth, the Lie with Circumstance; the seventh,
2670
the Lie Direct. All these you may avoid but the
Lie Direct; and you may avoid that too, with an If. I
knew when seven justices could not take up a quarrel, but
when the parties were met themselves, one of them
thought but of an If, as: "If you said so, then I said so";
2675
and they shook hands, and swore brothers. Your If is
the only peace-maker; much virtue in If.
JAQUES
[To the Duke] Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? He's as good
at anything, and yet a fool.
DUKE SENIOR
He uses his folly like a stalking-horse, and under
2680
the presentation of that he shoots his wit.
Enter Hymen, Rosalind, and Celia.
Still music. [Rosalind and Celia are no longer disguised.]
HYMEN
Then is there mirth in heaven,
When earthly things made even
2685
_Atone together.
Good Duke, receive thy daughter;
Hymen from heaven brought her,
_Yea, brought her hither,
That thou mightst join her hand with his,
2690
Whose heart within his bosom is.
ROSALIND
[To the Duke] To you I give myself, for I am yours. [To Orlando]
To you I give myself, for I am yours.
DUKE SENIOR
If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter.
ORLANDO
If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind.
2695
PHOEBE
If sight and shape be true,
Why then, my love adieu!
ROSALIND
[To the Duke] I'll have no father, if you be not he; [To Orlando]
I'll have no husband, if you be not he; [To Phoebe]
Nor ne'er wed woman, if you be not she.
HYMEN
Peace, ho! I bar confusion.
2700
'Tis I must make conclusion
_Of these most strange events.
Here's eight that must take hands
To join in Hymen's bands,
_If truth holds true contents. [To Orlando and Rosalind]
2705
You and you no cross shall part. [To Oliver and Celia]
You and you are heart in heart. [To Phoebe]
You to his love must accord,
Or have a woman to your lord. [To Touchstone and Audrey]
You and you are sure together,
2710
As the winter to foul weather. [To All]
Whiles a wedlock hymn we sing,
Feed yourselves with questioning,
That reason wonder may diminish,
How thus we met, and these things finish.
2715
SONG.
Wedding is great Juno's crown,
_O blessèd bond of board and bed!
'Tis Hymen peoples every town;
_High wedlock then be honorèd.
2720
Honor, high honor and renown
_To Hymen, god of every town!
DUKE SENIOR
[To Celia] O my dear niece, welcome thou art to me!
Even daughter, welcome, in no less degree.
PHOEBE
[To Silvius] I will not eat my word, now thou art mine;
2725
Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine.
Enter Second Brother [Jaques de Boys].
JAQUES DE BOYS
Let me have audience for a word or two.
I am the second son of old Sir Rowland,
That bring these tidings to this fair assembly.
2730
Duke Frederick, hearing how that every day
Men of great worth resorted to this forest,
Addressed a mighty power, which were on foot
In his own conduct, purposely to take
His brother here, and put him to the sword;
2735
And to the skirts of this wild wood he came,
Where, meeting with an old religious man,
After some question with him, was converted
Both from his enterprise and from the world,
His crown bequeathing to his banished brother,
2740
And all their lands restored to them again
That were with him exiled. This to be true
| I do engage my life. | |
| DUKE SENIOR | |
| Welcome, young man. | |
Thou offer'st fairly to thy brothers' wedding:
2745
To one his lands withheld, and to the other
A land itself at large, a potent dukedom.
First, in this forest let us do those ends
That here were well begun and well begot;
And after, every of this happy number
2750
That have endured shrewd days and nights with us
Shall share the good of our returnèd fortune,
According to the measure of their states.
Meantime, forget this new-fall'n dignity,
And fall into our rustic revelry.
2755
Play, music! And you brides and bridegrooms all,
With measure heaped in joy, to th' measures fall.
JAQUES
Sir, by your patience. [To Jaques de Boys] If I heard you rightly,
The Duke hath put on a religious life,
And thrown into neglect the pompous court.
2760
JAQUES DE BOYS
He hath.
JAQUES
To him will I. Out of these convertites
There is much matter to be heard and learned. [To the Duke]
You to your former honor I bequeath;
Your patience and your virtue well deserves it. [To Orlando]
2765
You to a love that your true faith doth merit; [To Oliver]
You to your land and love and great allies; [To Silvius]
You to a long and well-deservèd bed; [To Touchstone]
And you to wrangling, for thy loving voyage
Is but for two months victualled. -- So to your pleasures;
2770
I am for other than for dancing measures.
DUKE SENIOR
Stay, Jaques, stay!
JAQUES
To see no pastime, I. What you would have
I'll stay to know at your abandoned cave.
DUKE SENIOR
Proceed, proceed. We'll begin these rites,
2775
As we do trust they'll end, in true delights.
ROSALIND
It is not the fashion to see the lady the epilogue;
but it is no more unhandsome than to see the
lord the prologue. If it be true that good wine needs
no bush, 'tis true that a good play needs no epilogue.
2780
Yet to good wine they do use good bushes, and good
plays prove the better by the help of good epilogues.
What a case am I in then, that am neither a good epilogue,
nor cannot insinuate with you in the behalf of a
good play! I am not furnished like a beggar; therefore
2785
to beg will not become me. My way is to conjure
you, and I'll begin with the women. I charge you, O
women, for the love you bear to men, to like as much
of this play as please you; and I charge you, O men,
for the love you bear to women -- as I perceive by your
2790
simpering, none of you hates them -- that between you
and the women the play may please. If I were a woman,
I would kiss as many of you as had beards that
pleased me, complexions that liked me, and breaths that
I defied not; and, I am sure, as many as have good
2795
beards, or good faces, or sweet breaths, will, for my kind
offer, when I make curtsy, bid me farewell.
Exit.
