Marriage and Parenting

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Marriage
When a couple says I Do, in many cases it is for better or for worse. Often when we think about for bettr or for worse, we think about
good times, bad times, rough times, maybe an illness or a death; but the concept of brain injury does not cross our minds. How does a
couple learn to stay together after a brain injury, to understand each other again, to re-learn each other and pull through. Patience,
love and understanding are the easier answers, the harder ones are perserverance and day to day living.


Some couples turn to faith, others turn to outside resources such as counsellors, support groups or their social workers. Many of the
local brain injury agencies will have the resources and expertise to assist couples through these rough times. Below are some links
and suggestions that can help. It is important to remember though, that the transition through this transformation of self is one
that both will embark on together.


Quick Suggestions for day to day frustrations: - Open communication between the two of you. - To journal your thoughts and
feelings, frustrations and anger. - To remember that it is okay to get angry at one another, that it is okay to be frustrated with
what has happened. - Both of you are grieving the loss of one, even though no one has physically died, a huge part of who one was
has gone.


Tricks for Memory Reminders: - A daytimer is a useful tool to remember day to day activities and events. - To keep a large
calendar in the kitchen or on the fridge, so that everything is clear and straight forward. - It is okay to keep to-do lists all
over the place and little sticky notes. - Don't critize, but guide and remind of how things are to be done.


Resources

Taken from marriage missions international: Starting marriage over after a brain injury. [[1]]

Taken from the Nanaimo Brain Injury Society: The importance of mutual support for spouses of head injury survivors. [[2]]

Changing Roles in Families: Retrieved from Brain Injury Resource Foundation. [[3]]

Head Injuries happen to families: [[4]]


I’M SUPPOSED TO BE PARENTING!


Dealing with an acquired brain injury can be overwhelming and exhausting. Sometimes just completing daily activities can be enough,
trying to be a parent and have a brain injury can feel like too much sometimes. It is okay to feel like this and it is important to
remember that there are supports and services to help you through your tranistion and recovery. It is important to remember that you
are still a parent, your children will still love you and that there is a lot you can offer them. It is also important to remember
that the whole family will need time to adjust to the transition and to the changes, checking with your local brain injury agency
is a good way to start looking for resources and supports to assist through these times.


Supports

Brain Injury Chatroom: An online chatroom to meet and discuss common issues with others directly or indirectly affected by an acquired brain injury. [[5]] (retrieved from: [[6]])

Journal of daily experience: Retrieved from Brain Injury Resource Centre [[7]]

Journey Toward Recovery: A brain injury guide for families. [[8]]