When a couple says I Do, in many cases it is for better or for worse. Often when we think about for bettr or for worse, we think about good times, bad times, rough times, maybe an illness or a death; but the concept of brain injury does not cross our minds. How does a couple learn to stay together after a brain injury, to understand each other again, to re-learn each other and pull through. Patience, love and understanding are the easier answers, the harder ones are perserverance and day to day living.Some couples turn to faith, others turn to outside resources such as counsellors, support groups or their social workers. Many of the local brain injury agencies will have the resources and expertise to assist couples through these rough times. Below are some links and suggestions that can help. It is important to remember though, that the transition through this transformation of self is one that both will embark on together.
Quick Suggestions for day to day frustrations: - Open communication between the two of you. - To journal your thoughts and feelings, frustrations and anger. - To remember that it is okay to get angry at one another, that it is okay to be frustrated with what has happened. - Both of you are grieving the loss of one, even though no one has physically died, a huge part of who one was has gone.
Tricks for Memory Reminders: - A daytimer is a useful tool to remember day to day activities and events. - To keep a large calendar in the kitchen or on the fridge, so that everything is clear and straight forward. - It is okay to keep to-do lists all over the place and little sticky notes. - Don't critice, but guide and remind of how things are to be done.
Taken from marriage missions international: Starting marriage over after a brain injury. []
Taken from the Nanaimo Brain Injury Society: The importance of mutual support for spouses of head injury survivors. []
Changing Roles in Families: Retrieved from Brain Injury Resource Foundation. []
Head Injuries happen to families: []