Life Skills Development/Unit Three/Communication (The Gift of Listening)/Lesson

What is Affective Listening?
It is the listening for the benefit of the other. It is extending positive willingness to be a sounding board for the other and listen with attentiveness for the agreed period and then be listened to by the other. It is different from transactional and informational listening where the listener aims at getting some benefit from what he hears. In affective listening it is the process that counts. The process of the speaker clarifying his mind and expressing his emotions in a safe environment. the listener is not to judge and advise but only to encourage the speaking and to affirm the speaker at the end. The affirmation is based on the intrinsic qualities that all human beings have  - being living, good, intelligent, energetic and powerful. Affective listening is aided when skills such as appropriate contact, encouraging sounds, empathetic comments like 'You did not deserve that', are used.

These are the logistics for the Gift of Listening
Share equal time for each of the pair: Speaker 'A' speaks for 'x' minutes and Speaker 'B' affirms using the heart after Time signal. Then Speaker 'B' speaks for 'x' minutes and Speaker 'A' affirms using the heart after time signal.

1. Discuss what to speak about:


 * You can speak of anything you like but remember that your hurts started earlier – sometimes in childhood and the pattern plays when something similar triggers the memory. Check what makes you shout, or become angry. Try to remember sometime in your childhood when you felt this way. Talk about it in the Gift of Listening.

2. Practicing Affirming via modelling.


 * Practise affirming based on the qualities of the heart. See Activity. Say the name of the person and affirm them by contradicting anything negative or reinforce the positive: “Nalini, you are loving and good” after she told you she beat her children because she was sad about her partner’s ignoring her.

3. Practise the Gift of Listening regularly with someone or more than once preferably.

Checklists of Performance Task
1. Drawing of the heart showing the intrinsic qualities of self and diamond of  how I like to be listened to.  1.|I included five qualities of the heart|||| 2.|I included at least four ways I like to be listened to in the diamond.|||| 2. Listening Skills practised in dyads  1.|The two of us enjoyed equal time|||| 2.|We gave positive eye contact when listening to the other|||| 2.|I affirmed using the person’s name and one or two of the relevant qualities of the heart|||| 3. Reflections on the Gift of Listening  1.|I did not judge or give advice while I listened|||| 2.|I affirmed without much thought knowing it would be the right response and appropriate contradiction|||| 3.|I spoke of something that mattered to me||||
 * RUBRIC of performance criteria|V. Well Done|Well Done|OK|Not Ok- Will redo by ….
 * RUBRIC of performance criteria|V. Well Done|Well Done|OK|Not Ok- Will redo by ….
 * RUBRIC of performance criteria|V. Well Done|Well Done|OK|Not Ok- Will redo by ….

Unit summary
In this unit you learned about:
 * Affective Listening and its benefits.
 * The Gift of Listening and how it can enhance your conversations leaving all parties involved satisfied that their input was listened to attentively.

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