Life Skills Development/Module Three/Unit 2: The Art of Communication/Responding

Content
Responding is a direct result of the process of listening that has taken place regarding a message. Response involves communicating to a person an understanding of the message and their behaviour. The response should not be general but focus on a specific message or behaviour not the person or the assumed intention. Even when you are not reading, listening and responding is important. You may respond by nodding your head to show that you are paying attention,or shaking your head when you think some information is wrong.

Several variables impact how you may respond. These include physical and mental health and wellness, the environment. prevailing situation, gender, emotional state, personal exceptionalities, previous experiences, culture among others.

In the process of interviewing a person, it is necessary to listen and record points of interest.

If you are part of an audience, you must be quiet for the courtesy of others, and for the attention of the presenters.

Before responding to a message it may be necessary to ask questions to ensure proper understanding. It might also be necessary to clarify or repharse statements and conduct a probe for further information that will ensure that the reply is appropriate, relevant and adequate.

Effective response involves the sharing of sincere and honest information and observations. It speaks to giving a confident response to how or what was done but not why it was done without a feeling of guilt.

Constructive response will help individuals identify areas of their behaviour that needs improvement.

How should we give response?
 * 1) Be specific regarding the behaviour
 * 2) Consider the timinig; it is best done directly after the event.
 * 3) Consider the needs of the person getting the response as well as your own need.
 * 4) Consider the cultural differences between yourself and the person with whom you are communicating.
 * 5) Focus on the behaviour that needs addressing.
 * 6) Ask for a response do not impose.
 * 7) Avoid being judgemental or labeling behaviours.
 * 8) State clearly the impact of the behaviour on you.
 * 9) Use 'I statements' instead of 'You statements' to avoid defensiveness.
 * 10) Ascertain that clear communication has taken place.
 * 11) Reply calmly without an emotional tone, language or body movement.

Types of Response
There are different ways in which we respond to messages and situations. These include:


 * Passive
 * 1) Taking no action to assert individual rights
 * 2) Putting others first at their own expenses
 * 3) Giving in to what others want
 * 4) Remaining silent when something bothers you
 * 5) Being overly apologetic


 * Assertive
 * 1) Standing up for your right without affecting the rights of others
 * 2) Respecting self and others
 * 3) Listening and talking
 * 4) Expressing positive and negative feelings
 * 5) Being confident but not pushy


 * Agressive
 * 1) Standing up for your rights without thinking about others
 * 2) Putting yourself first at the expense of others
 * 3) Overpowering others
 * 4) Achieving goals at the expense of other

Steps to delivering assertive message

 * State how you feel about the behaviour or problem
 * State clearly what you would like to happen
 * Enquire how the other person feels about your request and be sure to give a response to the feeling
 * Ask the other person to express his/her thoughts about your request.
 * Accept the outcome publicly
 * If the person agrees with your request say thanks; if he/she does not agree stick to your point if you feel it is right for you.

You are assertive when you are able to stand up for your rights without putting down the rights of others. You should be able to: This will result in you feeling better about yourself and having more honest friends and relationships.
 * say 'No' without feeling guilty
 * disagree without being angry
 * ask for help when you need it

9. In groups of four learners discuss the factors that influence how they communicate. These will be recorded along with the impact of each factor and the decisions that must be taken to ensure that the process is acceptable.

Supportive Materials

 * 1) Handouts
 * 2) Skits
 * 3) Power point presentation
 * 4) Comics
 * 5) Animations