User:Shany b/Bagrut Project
How does divorce influence adolescents?
Purpose of the Project
As a typical girl in her adolescence, I keep asking my self questions and wonder about my positions in different subjects. Lately, I found myself struggling with the question "would I get married one day?". My parents got divorced when I was a baby. In addition, I keep hearing about couples breaking up. We all know as a fact that the rate of divorce has increased in the last few years. In this generation, divorce is constantly expanding and I think we all have to consider its effects. Divorce is naturally connected to adults and not once do we tend to forget that the children are integral part of the ruined family. In my project, I want to focus on how divorce affects the adolescent in order to find answers.
Divorces are legal cancellation of marriages. In recent years there is a continuous rise in divorces worldwide. This rise is caused by three main reasons:
- Undermining the traditional form of family - Society has become less religious and traditional in her relation to marriage. In addition emphasis more on the importance of duality.
- Release of the woman - Majority of the women entered to the labor market, and now women can support themselves and stop their depends in their husbands.
- Softening of the legislation regarding marriage - In comparison to the past, nowadays it's easier to get divorced. While in the past divorced people were treated in a negative way, today it seems like a totally normal thing to do.
Divorce is almost always a summary of severe long lasting conflicts between married couples, particularly of gender, character, and culture. The married couple feels that it's impossible to solve their complicated conflicts.
Adolescence is the connective period between the childhood to the adulthood. This age is characterized by many unaccepted behaviors and mask of feelings. this period begins approximately in the age 12 and end in the age 18 and 20. The adolescent passes through many bodily and psychological changes and the divorce of his parents in this particular time might be destructive to his future life and even influence on his position in the relation to the institution of the marriage. On the one hand a crisis in this age is likely to erupt in the form of criminal or depression. Several from the typical expressions of the crisis are: Realistic shock from another abandonment and concentration problems. But on the other hand cognitive adulthood helps the adolescent understand his parents will to divorce and that their divorce is not contingent upon his behavior. Indeed the family is essential to the child's development, but her quality hanging in its value.
Undoubtedly divorce is one of the hardest things in life. This event is never planned ahead because no couple ever get married knowing they will divorce one day. This event obligates reorganization in order to control the tremendous change that he brings with him. The new family that the divorce has created need to handle with additional changes such as change in the economic situation, change of the sleeping hours , change in the number of the quarrels in the family and so forth. The accumulative pressure that divorces are causing approaches very to the situation of high risk.In addition to the pressure that most of the children suffer they become in the majority of the times the bone of contention.
The women very often feel that their ex-husbands sued for too many rights for the children and that the alimony payments are too low while the men claim that their former wives are unable to raise their mutual children and that the alimony payments are too high. Many parents are not able to bestow to the children the support they require because they are having a stressful time too. Likewise there are mothers that change to be contingent emotional in the children and over permissive. This behavior can bring to the situation in him the boy changes to be the ton provider at home. This situation is destructive particularly when the children are in the age of adolescence, in him they need more of all boundaries. Prevalent behavior for example is when the boy passes to sleep in his mothers bed and interfere in her relationships with other men. By this behavior the boy fills the space that was left after his father's leaving.
In conclusion the adolescence vulnerability exists even if the adolescence is not consciously aware of. In order to achieve proper function after all the close environment have to be very protective and understanding. It is reasonable to assume that in the future, after the adolescence will grow up, they will finalize their approach to the marriage institution and it probably will be more negative then the approach of adolescence who didn't experienced their parents divorce.
After I finished collecting responses to my survey I tried to analyze them, and saw that the majority of the people who answered my survey are pro marriage. I collected positive answers but the distribution was not high. The answers showed me that the dream of many teens is still to establish a family when they will grow up and for most of them the statistics about decrease in weddings does not matter.
1. I look forward to have strong and consistent relations.
2. It makes me sad to see families falling apart too easily.
3. I think that it's hard to function as an individual in marriage life.
4. I feel that marriage life helps couples to handle problems in life.
5. I try to avoid from going to weddings.
6. I won't hesitate to experience in a relationship.
7. I would never give birth a child out of wedlock.
8. Marriage is a problematic institution who prevents freedom.
9. I give honor to married coupls who succeed in establishing stable relations.
10. Marriage is a key for self-fulfillment in every espect of life.
1.http://www.divorceinfo.co.il/heb/content/library/reasons/default.as 2. www.bsos.umd.edu/socy/vanneman/socy441/trends/divorce.jpg 3. "Adolescence" by Z. Avner (1984) 4. "The family" by Z. Segal (1983) 5. "The Divorce Psychology" by D. Koren (2006) 6. "The relationship" by R. Koren (2002) 7. "Adolescence- generation under pressure" by G. Kogner 8. " Adolescence theories" by A. Rolf Mus